ddv1976 shared an experience
Loss (Lost loved one): My dad is my world. I was and will always be a daddy's girl. He was selfless, hard working and loving to his very last day. My world now seems empty and I have been unable to grieve since my mom was also diagnosed with the same cancer as he had a month before he passed.
My dads battle with colon cancer came about after he had been having some issues back in November of 2009. We got the news as I was getting ready to board a plane out of state. I felt numb. I questioned whether or not I should go on my trip and dad said of course, I'll be here when you get back. Shortly thereafter, he had surgery that left him with a colostomy bag and he spent the next few months doing chemo & radiation. It was so rough on him as he continued to work full time during all of this. A year after his surgery he was cancer free and we thought we were out of the woods.
He was doing well and went in for his 2 year checkup and it was discovered that he had some seedlings on his kidneys and cancer in the hips. It was the absolute beginning stages and the doctors said we really didn't have anything to worry about. He started radiation in October of 2011. Not long after starting his treatments he began going downhill quickly. It took everything he had to make it to my wedding reception in early November 2011. I got my father daughter dance with him and to this day I cherish it so much. In December I moved him into my home so I could care for him 24/7. He was admitted into the hospital a few times while being with me and I had to prepare myself for what I knew what was coming, even though the selfish part of me didn't want to be without my daddy. January 24th, 2012 was the day my dad lost his battle with cancer. My entire family was with him the last two days of his life and my mother after almost 48 hours of hospital seating wanted to go home and freshen up. That was about 6am the morning of the 24th. I got up and sat next to his bed, holding his hand letting him know how much we loved him and that it was okay to let go. 8:38am.....the moment his heart stopped and my life was altered. He waited for my mom to leave so she did not have to be there when it actually happened. That's how he was, always looking out for my mom. They were together for 34 years. We had him cremated and he is now in my moms possession at home. We held his services a few weeks later.
There hasn't been any time to grieve since moms own colon cancer was given a stage 3, and we now are focusing on getting her taken care of. It took me weeks after his passing to even cry, which makes me feel horrible, as this man was my world. I find myself being torn between trying to get over the passing of my father and now dealing with my mothers cancer.
I will try to update on the status of my mothers progress. She has no insurance as my dads job ended 24 days before his death so we are currently at the mercy of those willing to help an uninsured widow. At this time, my stress level is at its highest it's ever been.