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    derbygirl posted an update

    Well after celebrating being 10 years ovarian cancer free and 3 years carcinoid cancer free, this summer I was diagnosed with malignant melanoma. After having surgery and waiting for the official notice, I can say that I have been successful at beating this as well. I really hope this is the last time I will hear a doctor tell me that I have cancer but if I hear it again, I know I can handle it because I've survived this monster 3 times now and with the support of everyone here and all my family and friends, I know I can get through anything!

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    Lynne-I-Am wrote on derbygirl's wall

    I too am upset by this latest news and understand your need to get away . Crying is a release, a cathartic cleansing, not a show of weakness. When you feel up to it , I recommend you try an excercise tthat helped me. Write down everything you have been through these past years, as you write, you start reliving those experiences and for me , at least , the tears flowed. I was in a class with several other survivors and we all reached for the Kleenex. I am sending you tons of support to help get through this tough time and wishing you a successful surgery ahead.

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    derbygirl posted an update

    Today I received some upsetting news. After being diagnosed with ovarian cancer 10 years ago and carcinoid cancer 2 years ago, today I once again heard the words that we all have had to hear. Today the doctor told me that a biopsy that he did on my shin on my right leg was positive for melanoma. Needless to say, this frightened me more then the other 2 times because I know how aggressive melanoma can be, especially if it's not caught early. The doctors say this on my leg over a year ago and thought it was a spider bite and then residue from the bite. So to hear that today I have melanoma and not a spider bite, has scared me. My elderly mother, who is dependent on me for help, is currently in an extended care facility for physical therapy. I can't be there for her right now and I hate it because the doctor is arranging surgery for me as soon as possible. I've been so strong the past 10 years going through this fight twice as well as having 2 heart surgeries and many other medical issues plus being there for my mother. I just wonder how much longer I can continue to be strong. Every day gets harder and harder and I just don't know how much more I can go through before I finally sit down and cry. I was raised by my grandparents and my Nan always said crying was a sign of weakness and I was anything but weak. Even today when the doctor told me the results, I sat stoic and acted like he told me I had acne. I think he was surprised that I didn't break down. I ask my brother to drive me to the one place where I'm totally at peace to try to make sense of all this so for the next 3 days, I'll be vegging out on the beach looking out over the ocean. It's the one place where I can clear my mind of everything and begin to think rationally.

    3 Comments
    • BoiseB's Avatar
      BoiseB

      I am so saddened by this news, I am crying for you. I too taught that it was unladylike to cry or laugh or show any emotion. I beg you to cry I hope you come back from the beach somewhat refreshed. I will remember you in my prayers.

      5 months ago
    • SandiA's Avatar
      SandiA

      Hi! I am so sorry you are going through this. You have been through so much! I am a melanoma survivor! I was diagnosed in May 2014 and did two surgeries and radiation. In September 2014 I went in for scans and a follow up doctors appointment to be told I was cancer free, but instead they told me it came back and spread to other areas. I was leaving for the beach the next day and thought about canceling my trip but went ahead and went to the beach. I remember sitting on the beach crying my eyes out in the rain. My brother came to get me and talked me into going back to the house. I went back home after a week at the beach and started treatment. I finished treatment in July 2016 and currently NED. So there is hope! Lots of hope! Please take care of yourself! Allow yourself a good cry. I know I needed it. I personally also find the beach a place to think and refresh! I will be praying for you! ((Hugs)) Sandi

      5 months ago
    • Alisia's Avatar
      Alisia

      I’m new to Whatnext but truly felt a common bond with you, 1st the cancer fight we have in common & 2nd the ‘taught/learned’ attitude to ‘suck it up & never cry’. It takes great effort but I’m learning to cry; it’s a great emotional release & Ive read we can become physically &/or terminally ill by shutting down our emotions. Of course factors of environment, food choices & habits are factors. Wishing you healing & comfort

      5 months ago