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    Decision Point (Back to school): I have decided to go back to work. Kids begin school/daycare and I am looking forward to bringing a familiar routine and hopefully a sense of normalcy back in the house. I think hubs will also enjoy the peace and quiet! Now should things change, I am fully prepared to take time off work and care for my hubs and the family.

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    Loss (Lost loved one): It is with great sadness that I write on the loss of our dear friend who passed away of stage 4 metastatic melanoma last night. He didn't have a chance to "fight" his battle. He was diagnosed two moths ago at the same time my hubs was diagnosed. We met at the hospital since they shared a room for two weeks. He never left the hospital. May he finally rest in peace. My thoughts are with his wife and family.

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      DJS

      So sorry to read this. It is amazing how invested we get in wonderful friendships made in such short spans of time brought to us through the shadow of cancer. It is always sad to lose a fellow warrior, and it always makes those of us surviving realize how lucky we are to be able to continue the battle.

      almost 8 years ago
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    Side Effects (More side effects with round 4 chemo): As we finished with round 4 of RCHOP chemo regime, hubs has a bunch of new side effects. Along with fatigue, nausea and sleeplessness, he has begun to feel tingling in his finger tips and has brown discoloured patches on the palm if his hands. Doctor says the tingling is normal and may never be the same after treatment. They will not tweak his meds as it may set back his treatment. Hubs also had a whole day of hiccuping yesterday. Annoying and tiring to deal with. Nothing helped. Thank goodness they are gone today. His mood swings have gotten better. Although we have not really done anything different.

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    Other Care (Brief hospitalization): Husband suffered an infection somewhere in his bowels a couple of weeks ago. Went in with some pain in his abdomen. We were afraid it was a perforation, but it was an infection. He had almost 0 white blood cell count too. We decided not to go off nupogen injections next round.

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    Oh No (Relationship issues): Hubs blasted me and my kids today. Complaining it was too noisy in the house (we have two kids age 5 and 1.5 yrs.). Younger one is sick and he was complaining about that too. Is there anyone out there who is a caregiver, wife and mother who is going through similar frustrations with their spouse? I am currently searching for a support group to join in my area.

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      DJS

      I just looked at your questions, and it looks like it's been two weeks since your husband's first R-CHOP infusion. He should be feeling a lot better by now, so it sounds to me like he's really going through a tough emotional time and taking it out on anyone close to him. Unacceptable and probably unnecessary. Unless he's usually bad tempered, I would call his doctor immediately and get him a recommendation for a professional counselor to help him cope with the stress of cancer, plus a recommendation for a psychiatrist who can get him on antidepressants. The antidepressants will take a few weeks to work, but will bring your husband back to his ol' self. Some people have a resistance to these thinking they're the mark of someone crazy, but in reality your body chemistry is drastically changed by chemo meds and antidepressants will help bring the patient back to normal while the chemo swirls in the bloodstream (long after treatments stop). Tranquilizers, to help with mood swings, might also be recommended. Leave it to the professionals. As for you: don't wait to locate a support group. Ask your husband's doctor for a recommendation for a psychologist or social worker for you, too. You need help NOW, and as welcoming as a support group can be, it's just a collection of well-meaning people who have walked a similar road who share experiences. It sounds like you need much more than that right now, and maybe a few visits to a professional will give you the tools you need to get you to a place where the support group will be enough. I hope things calm down for you soon. I wish you lived close enough for me to come by and help out! I'll be thinking of you -- I'm sure many of us on this board will be, too. Good luck!

      almost 8 years ago
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    dirtygoldfish wrote on Keith59's wall

    Hi Keith 59 and thankyou. I pray for you too. As much as I hate this horrible disease, my life would not have been touched by such a brave and wonderful soul. Our dear friend will remain in our hearts forever.

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      Keith59

      Even though this journey is uncertain...dark....and scary at times....good positive things can come from it. Such as your friend.

      almost 8 years ago