I'm glad that you've dropped me a line. It's been a while since we've corresponded. I hope all is well with you and your family. I noticed on your wall that your going through a roller-coaster of feelings. That seems to be normal for someone who's going through what we're going through.
Since I last talked ( ? ) with you I also have had surgery. On June12 I had a double mastectomy. I don't look anything like any of the women that I've seen on the internet after their surgery, but then I've only seen a few pictures and everyone's different. I'm healing just fine and waiting for my appointment to get a prosthetic.
I'm a bit older than you ;) , well quite a bit older than you. Almost 20 years and I have a mother who went through this. She had breast cancer and back then they did a radical mastectomy right away and discovering the lump was cancer. She was about 65 and had large breast. She wanted them to remove both of them, but at that time they wouldn't. She said she felt so much better without the weight. She also said that at her age she didn't use them any more! ;P That they were primarily used for breast feeding and she didn't she herself doing that again in her future. ;) My step father was also insistent that she have the breast removed. He said that her life was worth it. My step dad was an awesome guy.
I was a double D, so after surgery there's a big void on my chest. It doesn't help that I have a very small rib cage and I'm over weight. Now for the first time my belly sticks out farther than my chest! ;) I need to lose about 40 lbs and that should help with my appearance.
I understand that since your younger, your children are young, your in the prim of your life and your married that you would feel angry and hurt.
It's hard enough going through the treatments, but when you put the things you have to go through with every day life it can be difficult at times or most of the time to do those things.
I feel you on the being tired all of the time situation. I feel sooo tired and wiped out most of the time that I can only imagine what your going through with having a husband, children and a house to manage.
I haven't had radiation yet or talked about reconstruction. I'm sooo tired with it all, I don't want to do any more treatments.
I hope you can understand my writing and that it's not too jumbled around. lol I wish I had done those book reports and thesis's back in jr high and high school, but I was too busy trying to survive. ;)