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    Why I haven’t written

    Because at three AM when I am walking a rut in the floor because I ran out of oxycodone and I am weeping in pain and can’t smoke enough to sleep. Because I am puking phlegm because I couldn’t eat the last eight hours. Because I am scared. Because I am always alone. Don’t let […]

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    Things That Would Matter

    Things I wish were part of this nightmare right now: a hetero life partner  that I don’t currently have to hold my hand, or rub my back until I fall asleep. Visits from friends and family coming by to visit when I am sick and depressed or just when I say hey come visit. Having […]

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    And Now We Have Deatheaters

    WARNING: Straight up, this is going to be graphic, probably long and definitely rambly. You might want to get a drink or snack now. Unless you are one of those weak stomach people, then don’t get the snack ’til later. I’m not going to give the warning again, so it would behoove you to skip […]

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    Hibernation is No Excuse

    I am sorry I am ignoring you, my peoples, I suck. Yesterday, it dawned on me that I am in the midst of a postchristmas depression in addition to the new stress on my body from the deatheaters, who will be discussed another day. There are a number of excuses I have made for not […]

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    And On Mondays, We Get Probed.

    Hi there happy people. I hope you’re happy people. It is Friday after all. That means it’s the weekend, right? I don’t care so much about the weekend anymore since I hardly work these days, but it does mean that people are available to do things, which they typically are not during the week. So […]

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    It’s My 5 Year Blogiversary!

    WordPress reminded me that today is my five year blogiversary. That’s right, my little doves, five years of my amazing literary skills, starting in 2011 before I was diagnosed with cancer the first time. I know there were other pressing issues in my life before I had cancer, and I used to write about them. […]