drchant shared an experience
Oh No (Diagnosed): well I had a hold out of a hope that the lump on my neck was just a sist. But after the biopsy in February, they said tumor, then I was told malignant, then, it's in the lymphnodes. XXX ! I have a15 yr old son that is the world to me. I told him, don't smoke, he doesn't but it was one of those times I had to say the obvious. I told him sometimes I'll be an example this time I'm a warning. I did it to myself. 35 yrs and the irony, I stopped LAST February. As they were running me through tests etc I started to learn more and became less terrified. I'll be honest, part of me is completely checked out. I just had my toncils removed and some throat/tongue biopsies done. And this lump on the left side of my neck is getting bigger and the skin more taught. I don't know if they are going to surgically remove the mass, and my lymphnodes, and THEN do Rad /Chemo or just head to Rad / Chemo. They ARE telling me that the squamous cell carcinoma, (cancer of the throat lining) can be beaten. I have hung my hopes on all possitive statements and don't really know if it is true, I will make it, or .... It's that black hhole in the corner, where disspare lives, where I don't get to see my brilliant son graduate from high school. I have a follow up with the surgeon in 4 days. They should have the results and I am really hoping some semblance of a plan. I'm existing in limbo and it sucks.