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    meyati wrote on EmpathAgain's wall

    Well said about Depression. Thank you for sharing your life.

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      EmpathAgain

      Thanks so much! I know it was very difficult for me to deal with the depressive symptoms and especially the loneliness mixed with a lack of purpose I personally experienced after my stage 4 diagnosis. I have a PhD in psychology, which helped guide me in some ways with what to do, but it was still hard and actually experiencing it is so different than researching or studying something.I really think that academia should address the grief that often accompanies something as life-changing as a cancer diagnosis in more meaningful ways, maybe resilience among patients and survivors as well. It's hard, but it is worth it and I can say that eventhough things are a lot harder than I would like right now, I feel a lot more hopeful and enthusiastic about the time I have left now again. :)

      3 months ago
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      meyati

      yes there is a certain amount of disconnect between academia and so-called real life. it seems that Americans have had a fairly easy life since WW2, and people seem unable to realize that different states have different laws-cultures-histories, terrains, economies, etc. That's why I say- so-called real life.. some people and I were talking online-some Texans and I were talking about doing a 100 mph in parts of West Texas and New Mexico, and we were moaning that we didn't have Montana laws. Some people back east actually commented that we couldn't do that because the speed limit is 55 or 60 mph. we told them we didn't live in NYC, if they came out west, they would be run over for going so slow. They said we were lying. I told them that states are different with different speed limits and laws. Google it--

      My father had stomach cancer, and he went out on Route 66 (before freeways and truck air conditioning) . He sat at a table with a big umbrella and sold big packs of messed up socks to truckers. The shrinks from UCLA went out with him to emotionally support him-he was in the math department. The socks had icky colors-flaming pink men's socks, whatever. Most of the drivers survived the Pacific Theater and already Korean War vets. The truckers were always polite and talked- answered questions with mostly good humor.

      So the shrinks were delighted to find real America. A couple of the shrinks signed up to sell socks on Route 66. Some of the truckers complained to my dad that the shrinks were getting too pushy. Then some truckers came roaring down to my dad to get a handle on the shrinks--Some vet grabbed a couple of packs of pink socks, and the shrinks laid basic Greek tragedy on the trucker about him and his relationship with his mother. They threw my dad in the big rig, while a trucker packed up the umbrella-socks in my dad's car and drove it to the shrinks. The other truckers didn't let the enraged trucker leave until he could calm down, so they had him pinned. OK, my Dad was an Army Sgt at Ft. Riley, Manhattan, KS during the 1930s, and he had trained some of the truckers. My dad got everybody calmed down- convinced the shrinks to go home and stay there. My dad barely made it home, and it was too stressful for him to sell socks. Oh, about the socks. All of that engine heat going through the floorboards in the SoCal summer heat. They'd put on layers of socks, then stop and throw them out when their feet were swimming in sweat. They'd dry, powder, and put on more layers of ugly socks and drive.

      Considering that many professors from UCLA, USC, Berkeley had been officers in the military-even movie stars-and there was a disconnect that bad, the disconnect has to be deeper and wider now. Also many Americans are too fragile.

      3 months ago
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