GaryB shared an experience
Radiation (External radiation ): The Radiation begins
The treatment is going to be six weeks of chemo with four doses of radiation at different angles Monday thru Friday. I was told I would probably be sick with nausea, with the chemo but some meds may take care of that. The chemo will be daily, seven days a week. The radiation affects after about 3 weeks can be nausea, they throw that at you a lot. Hair loss, memory loss, and scalp burns or redness.
Before this begins they must mold a plastic type net over my head to lock me immobile for these treatments. Of course I had a brother that use to smother me with a pillow until I passed out, so yes, I am claustrophobic, sweet, this is not going to be fun.
I took the first chemo pill, Temador, 140mg on Sunday night at nine. At 2:00am I was vomiting my guts out, at 3:30am I was vomiting my guts out, at 6:30 I was vomiting my guts out, at 7:300ish I was vomiting my guts out. I thought, there is no way I can do six weeks of this every night. Ms Joan called the doctor and they moved me to take zophran 30 minutes before the Temador. After this enjoyable night it was off to radiation. All this was new to me so nervousness was scaled out!
First thing we noticed was how kind and compassionate everyone was, just amazing! Into the treatment room I go. A large room with this huge photon generator and a cold steel table in front of it. 8 inch shielded walls and a large 8 inch thick door. It always makes me apprehensive when everyone leaves the room before they turn it on, what joy.
Now, I lay on the table. They rubber band my feet, this does not make me happy. Now they put the mask on and lock it to the table. Needless to say, my BP and heart rate is probably immeasurable! I hear the 8 inch thick door close. I am alone. I start reciting the 23rd psalm, my favorite. Of course I am forgetting every other word and asking God to fill it in, He knows how it goes. At that time I open my eyes. I need to see some light and to breath or else I am going to start ripping myself out of this get up! I am not alone. Standing beside me is a man. A tall, thin man, wearing a robe. He is so close I can see the weave of the robe and the color. The weave is like a gunny sack and the color is like a off white with a tint of yellow, very faint. Of course I am trying to see his face but the mesh on the mask blurs it out. At that time he places his hand on my chest. At that instant I knew I was going to be alright. At that time, they could of taped me down with duct tape and I wouldn’t care. I was going to be all right!
One more piece of information. On week four, we were driving in for my scheduled radiation treatment. I was talking to Ms Joan and I made the statement that sometimes I wondered if the radiation was even doing anything, as I have had no symptoms at all? Ms Joan wisely said, well all these prayer chains are praying for just that, don’t you think that is why? True I said. Well one my very first dose that day, and that day only, for twenty seconds the radiation felt like I had a hand inside my head and they was kneading my brain! What a terrible feeling and twenty seconds is a long time when that is happening. The remaining 3 doses were uneventful. It was as if God was telling me “is this what you want to feel each time Gary?” Thankfully God has made His point!
Oh yes, the zophran is working just fine. No more nausea with the chemo. The radiation is over, no side effects. Now I get a month off and then 6 months of just double chemo five days each month. I do get tired during the day, so I do watch my food intake and my activity.
In finishing my radiation treatments off I need to say. That without Jesus Christ, My Lord, my God’s direct intervention in that radiation room I would have failed miserably. God is my guide, my life line, my healer. He guides these fine doctors and technology for His purpose and that must be why the doctors and staff are so good, kind, and caring. May God bless every one of them. I know God walks these halls at Mercy and ministers to the sick. He will hear your prayers too, just ask. I am excited to see what my God has in store for me………God Bless
GaryB shared an experience
Oh No (Diagnosed): CHAPTER FOUR
Your life’s path
We’ve all heard the words if you pray and ask in faith all will be given on to you. Of course we have all prayed and asked and got nothing. We miss the part about God’s will in there and true faith. But it is still enough to turn some folks away figuring this gravy train is a myth. Myself, God has given me pretty much what I’ve asked for, probably His will was for me to have it anyway, but man, I sure found out it is not good to get what you ask for.
I had a failed 30 plus year marriage. Three children, all adults at the time it fell apart, corroded from within. It takes two to succeed and 2 to fail so both of us can be blamed for the failure. I personally believe it was because we had no foundation, God never entered into the union so it was spiritually barren. Doomed to fail. But I got what I wanted and what I needed. I still talked to God but was too weak to take control and bring Him to the front in our lives, in our home. One believer in a pair is not enough to sustain the course. You fight your way the entire time.
But still God took care of me even in this darkness. I must say that I am the one who put myself in that spot, I made the choices, I made the turn down that path. But all this time My God was there always helped me in some pretty dreary states, and some lonely times. Never once left me, heard my prayers every time, always there.
Was this my goal in life? I think not, this was a road I was allowed to walk down. From birth to now, I can stand back and see my life as theses choices and the effect these choices had on those around me. Some positive, some not, but here I am still kicking and God is still here with me. What a marvelous God we have to love us so much to watch us struggle and fail, and yet still be there to help us along.
I can say now God is welcome at my house, it is His. If He needs a rest He is always welcome to stop, rest, and visit any time.
This is my journey to now and the inspiration for these chapters.
Wow, where to start. The beginning I suppose.
It was getting hard to hold up my Harley at stop lights. My left foot was tingling more and more. I could no longer type 90 wpm, I am down to hen pecking. Now my left hand was confusing chords, I can no longer play my guitar. It is time to see a doctor. He sent me to a neurologist who scheduled an MRI.
“Is this Gary Block”
“Yes it is Gary Block”
“Mr. Block, I am sorry to report that your MRI shows a mass on you right side of the brain. I am going to refer you to a nero surgeon, I am sorry to give you this news. Good bye Mr. Block” click. Buzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Wow, I was stunned. I had looked at my copy of the MRI, and as a layman, even I could see something was amiss. But it is different when a doctor gives you the news. My mind was ringing with questions. How long do I have? Will I be in unbearable pain? Will I have to be on some machine, a living corpse? How much of a burden will I be on those around me? What about my Ms. Joan, she just lost a previous husband and son, and now this. How do I tell her? Over and over these questions went through my mind.
That night Ms. Joan comes home from work, and after a bit I just blurt it out, “Ms. Joan. I have a tumor”. I could see the disbelief on her face and the moment she knew that what I said was the truth. We both sat there for a moment. No words could breach the distant thoughts that had to of been screaming in her head.
We made the neurosurgeon appointment, and the fear was confirmed to a worse degree. It is inoperable; it is too deep, too infused. To operate would either kill me or leave me worse. Radiation and/or chemo is the only option. But a brain biopsy would be helpful in discerning what type of tumor is it. Even this procedure scared the holy bee jeebees out of me. Drill a dime size hole in my head. Drive a needle into the tumor and get some tissue samples. This was done, I have to say I have never been so scared in my life, and I am a Vietnam vet! But that procedure went flawlessly, thanks to chemistry, I could kiss that anesthesiologist, but he’s a he.
The tumor is a Anaplasic Astrocytoma grade III. I looked this up on the internet, worst possible thing I could do. So depressing the majority of the prognosis was not happy reading, so I quit it!
Now the magic. All is not lost. If you notice, not once did I, or Ms Joan, blame God for this issue. Instead we prayed for help, healing, and strength. We got put on our church’s prayer chains, anointed, and individual chains. I must be honest, I prayed like I have never prayed before!