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    User: ellebell

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    Hawklady wrote on RE16's wall

    Hi Re, Lodi is really close to Elk Grove. Do you work there too? I'm glad fall has arrived.

    I just reached my 5 year milestone. How long ago were you diagnosed?

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    User: Naomi

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    Hawklady posted an update

    I have fear, like a shadow, that is always in the back of my mind. Although I have made peace with most of what has happened to me since I was diagnosed, the fear is always there. I don't know if it I will ever lose it. Will my cancer come back? Is it lying in wait somewhere? Will it blossom into a powerful enemy just when I relax fully.

    I still have a life, important roles to fulfill. Wife, caregiver, mother, grandmother, sister, friend. It would be very easy to immerse myself in those roles and not examine what I need as a singular being - just myself. It would be especially easy because to be alone with the real me can mean examining all the painful feelings I've stuffed - resolving those feelings so that I can heal. Cancer effects more than my body, it effected my soul. Am I the only one that feels this way?