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    Heathertrucks started following

    User: CancerNews

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    Heathertrucks asked a questionSkin Cancer - Melanoma

    Family members. How do you deal with the emotional toll it takes to have your loved one suffer.

    • mamajltc's Avatar
      mamajltc

      My husband has been in treatment for stage 4 colon cancer for over 2 1/2 years...(and doing well)...this is a wonderful question..
      You have made the first step by joining this wonderful community.
      When you have time, do a search for support groups...and for the particular cancer that your dad has. I love all groups, but knowing that you are going through similar situations, treatments, side affects, etc as others is a big help.
      If you are comfortable, go to appointments with him. Ask question, chat with people in the waiting room and everyone else. What may surprise you is the gift of comfort and many times laughter that you will get by going. My husband and I call chemo day (which is once a week), date day. We are together in this journey.
      Ask for help. I promise you will get it. Whether it's shopping, or babysitting, or anything you need. When people say Is there something i can do, just say something like...thank you so much..it means alot...would you mind watching the kids while I go shopping, would you mind picking up a few things for dad. The less you do, the less tired you are, and the more you can address all that you have to address.
      NOW-this is the toughest one...Do Something For Yourself...always! If it's cooking , having lunch with a friend, going for a walk (I crochet), spend time playing games on the computer...you cannot live and breathe this disease all the time...and it is better for you and him. It is the hardest thing to do. I have breakfast with my best friend atleast once a month and then when I come home, have so much more to give to my husband.
      And here's another toughy...let yourself cry and scream and be so XXX off..because that is how you feel. I have sobbed and sobbed, and then felt better...
      The most important thing to know, and I promise you...is that you are never alone, and always feel comforted by this. And always, choose hope

      over 4 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      I am a 3 time survivor, then lost my dad 2 years ago to prostate cancer, that went rogue. And 2 months later Mom was diagnosed with lung cancer. We lost her 10 months later. It is the hardest thing I ever had to do. We took care of both Mom and Dad in hospice care in our home. While it was a hard thing to do, I was glad, and felt good that we were there to take care of their every need. I wouldn't have wanted them to go through this without me being there. So, while it is hard for you, just know that your dad is lucky to have you there, and you will one day be glad that you were able to help him through it.

      Good luck to you and your dad, I wish you the best!

      over 4 years ago
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    Heathertrucks shared an experience

    Side Effects (Other): My dads quality of life was really affected by this last tumor removal.

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    Heathertrucks asked a questionSkin Cancer - Melanoma

    Support for those with parent dying of cancer.

    7 answers
    • misha41510's Avatar
      misha41510

      I know exactly what you're going through. My mom was diagnosed with stage four brain cancer about a year and a half ago. It's been really tough and things aren't getting any better. It's so incredibly difficult to watch her deteriorate.

      I had the same problem as you. I was so frustrated that finding support for people like us who have a parent with cancer is practically impossible!

      So what I did about six months ago was start a blog and twitter account. I know it may not sound like much, but there is a community online (especially on twitter) that supports each other and helps answer questions.

      I've written about how frustrating it is to find support for teens/young adults on my blog.

      Here's my blog: http://cominghometocancer.blogspot.com/
      Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/CHTCancer
      Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ComingHomeToCancer

      I highly suggest getting a twitter account. I'm working on starting a community on there by having people use the hastag #MPHC (My Parent Has/d Cancer). There are a lot of great people on there that are looking for support too.

      I hope I've helped!

      over 4 years ago
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      About a year after me being diagnosed for the third time, my father started a fast downhill path to his end. He had been diagnosed with prostate cancer about 13 years earlier, it finally got agressive and got him. Then 2 months after him being gone, mom was diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer. we lost her about 8 months later. I miss them terribly, and I know what you mean when it seems like your alone. Most days I want to pick up the phone and call Mom like I used to, then I remember that they are gone. It's a feeling you will never loose, but I am at ease and greatfull that I was able to be with them and take care of them until the very last. We took care of both in Hospice care. Good luck to you, I hope you can get peacefull with the whole thing.

      over 4 years ago
    • Heathertrucks' Avatar
      Heathertrucks

      Thank you all for your answers. I'm looking into all of them. I love you all.

      over 4 years ago
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    Heathertrucks shared an experience

    Decision Point: My dad was given a choice to have another craniotomy or to cease treatment and allow nature to take its course. Without treatment he was given 3 weeks to live. With treatment he was given 1 year at most.