• helliehere's Avatar

    helliehere asked a questionBreast Cancer

    Anyone single and had a mastectomy with reconstruction. How did you handle dating. Was socially active before but am petrified now.

    6 answers
    • JudyW's Avatar
      JudyW

      Yep, I'm single, but I am also a single mom of an almost-13-year-old, so I haven't been dating -- I haven't had time! I live in Orange County, California, where men my age are looking for "trophy wives," and I am clearly no trophy wife, so I have pretty much given up looking. I am a high school teacher by trade, a baseball umpire by avocation, and, in my own words, now, "damaged goods," so I really don't have much hope of finding a partner. Maybe someday it will happen, but I'm certainly not expecting it. I understand your fear.....I have to assume a truly wonderful man will not care that you have had a mastectomy with reconstruction....he'll simply be glad you're alive and kickin'. That said, I'm afraid there aren't many men like that in South Orange County, California.....at least not that I've found. All the men like that are already taken.

      about 4 years ago
    • jenny33's Avatar
      jenny33

      Hello all...I found my lump in April 2012. I had only been dating my boyfriend for 2 months. I had a double mastectomy with reconstuction/expanders. I was facing a major change going on with my body, of course, and also had to see if this guy I was interested in was going to stay with me. So, I threw plenty of "outs" for him to take if that was what he wanted to do. Not only did he stay with me, he asked me to move in with him so he could help take care of me. I had just made a move out of state to where I hadn't known many people at all when I started dating him. He has been my absolute everything. He was entered into my life just at the right time so please do not ever give up. They are out there!! And the "right" guy will not give a hoot about how it looks or feels. It's true that they will just be happy that you are alive and there with them. Best of luck and just think positive even when it gets difficult. Always keep pushing forward!!

      about 4 years ago
    • Nancebeth's Avatar
      Nancebeth

      I am so glad you asked this question, as I have recently tried to start dating again without much luck.
      I thought I had met a good one, he was a survivor of testicular cancer, and I thought he would understand what I was going through. Then he decided that I was too tired and busy with treatment or whatever, and maybe we should hold off until chemo was over. I sent him on his way.
      I met someone else and started dating him but when he saw my reconstructed nippleless boobs for the first time, he couldn't handle it and the evening ended with me in tears kicking him out of my house.
      So, now I am scared to try again.

      about 4 years ago
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  • helliehere's Avatar

    helliehere posted an update

    anyone single out there who has had a mastectomy with reconstruction? How did you deal with dating?

    1 Comment
    • KarenG_WN's Avatar
      KarenG_WN

      This would be great top post in our Questions section. Just click Questions above in the purple bar.

      over 4 years ago
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    helliehere shared an experience

    Side Effects: neuropathy and bone pain

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    helliehere shared an experience

    Drug or Chemo Therapy

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    helliehere shared an experience

    Drug or Chemo Therapy