• hjtobar's Avatar

    hjtobar asked a questionSmall Intestine Cancer

    Positivity...

    8 answers
    • IKickedIt's Avatar
      IKickedIt

      I surrounded myself with positive people. I have a good friend who is a kvetch and a Debbie-downer, always complaining about her situation. I didn't want to hear about it. I screened my phone calls and would let the answering machine pick up. Then, I'd write her an email thanking her for her phone call and letting her know I was resting. I'd update her on my progress and let her know I'd be in touch soon. There were other people who I also minimized my interaction with due to their negative attitudes.

      I'm not a self-centered person at all; however, this was one time in my life that it was about me and my well-being. I lived life a bit more on the edge in the sense that if I wanted to be a little more carefree, so be it. If I wanted to have ice cream for breakfast, fine. I did things that made me, and those I love, happy. I didn't want cancer to affect my life or the lives of my loved ones anymore than it already had. I had my tough days, but all my other days were back to life as much as normal.

      I was the queen of positivity. I always knew I was an optimistic person, but I never knew I had such inner strength and positivity. I wish I could teach it to others, but it was just something that kicked in at the right time and I'm XXX proud of it!

      almost 5 years ago
    • nancyjac's Avatar
      nancyjac

      It's tough enough to deal with the priorities that life throws at you. I need my time and focus and energy for those things that are important. Worry isn't important. Worry isn't a priority. I simply don't have the time or inclination to waste on worry.

      almost 5 years ago
    • Lirasgirl33's Avatar
      Lirasgirl33

      There things that keep me away from constantly worrying. 1) My faith in God. He has given me peace of mind and the comfort of knowing he's always by my side. 2)My loved ones. If I'm hurting or just feeling down, they feel it too. They feel a helplessness in not being able to make me feel better. I don't like seeing them go through that. I see being worried and down as a waste of time. I'd rather be living and enjoying life and continuing to make more memories. Yes this year has been full of trips to the hospital, dealing with treatments, etc.....but those are not the memories I hold onto. I only remember and cherish the good times. Our camping trip, the many birthday celebrations, the outings with friends and family.....those memories are the most important to me. Towards the beginning of my journey I noticed some of my friends would distance themselves from me because they too were going through their own separate problems or issues. They told me that they didn't want to bother me with their own issues. I understood where they were coming from but at the same time I felt like I needed to be there for them as much as they were here for me. I've always been the type of person to lend a helping hand, an ear or just a shoulder to cry on. Cancer would not keep me from being me. I pray to God to give me words that can give hope and inspire courage in those I come in contact with. I truly wish your mom all the best. This is a horrible disease but we can't let go of the hope within us. We have to keep living as best as we can.

      almost 5 years ago
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    hjtobar posted an update

    “When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child.” -Sophia Loren

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    hjtobar posted an update

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  • hjtobar's Avatar

    hjtobar wrote on ticklingcancer's wall

    Thank you for your response to my posted question! All of the suggestions have been very helpful, and I'm sure that things will begin to balance out as time goes on. Best wishes to you! :)

    1 Comment
    • ticklingcancer's Avatar
      ticklingcancer

      You're Welcome. Sorry you're having such a rough time. I got pretty sick when I was going through chemo. My wife was there every step of the way. I could see it was hard on her. Not only did she have to take care of me but also our 8 year old daughter. She wasn't sleeping well. She was really stressed. She wanted to take it all away. But I knew she was there for me and that's what mattered most. Just being there for your Mom is exactly what you should be doing but you have to take a "cry break". That's very important. It's ok to cry. It's ok to be sad, it's being strong at the right moments that matter most.

      almost 5 years ago
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    hjtobar wrote on packerbacker's wall

    Thank you for your response to my posted question! I really appreciate you taking the time to do so.
    We have a very big family, and all are very willing to help, however I find myself wanting to handle it primarily on my own. I've experienced a rather interesting role reversal in that I sometimes feel that I am the only one who can take care of her.
    Prayer helps both my mother and I a lot. We are praying all the time, or as my mom says, "just chatting with God."
    Again, I thank you for your advice and suggestions. I will praying for you:)

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    hjtobar started following

    User: packerbacker