You can do this. You just put one foot in front of the other and keep plowing through. What other option is there? It is natural to be scared. No matter how prepared you go into this, there will always be things that come up that you weren't prepared for.
I am assuming you are having chemo similar to mine. I was on FOLFOX. I had to go to the infusion center for about 5 hours for chemo and then I would go home with a pump with chemo continuing for 46 hours. I went every 2 weeks for chemo. Do you know what regimen of chemo you are going to receive?
As far as hair loss, it's not a guarantee. I only lost my eyelashes, girly part hair and the hair on my hands and feet. I didn't lose any hair on my head at all. I wouldn't do anything with your hair until the time comes, if it comes. I simply stopped getting highlights and had a haircut about every 6 weeks to try to keep my hair healthy. The appearance side effect that bothered me most was actually all my freckles got really dark and I just looked horrible. Thankfully, I found some make-up that helped.
My family is about 6 hours away. I live alone and I managed to get through it. My friends were a huge help getting me groceries or little things here and there that I needed. I worked through my chemo but as soon as I got home, I needed a nap. I didn't feel like cleaning or shopping or going out. A couple of friends came over and cleaned for me a few times and I just had to be OK with things not being perfect.
There was an ostomy support group near me but I didn't find it much help. Luckily, surgeons have gotten much better at the procedure. The problems that the people in the group were having, I wasn't experiencing at all. I had very few issues with my ileostomy. Is yours permanent or temporary?
I got very close with my infusion nurse at the infusion center. She was a resource for information and support that I needed. I can't speak highly enough of her. Don't be afraid to talk with your nurse and express your concerns and fears. The nurses are there for you, not just to give you chemo.
I did get a ride back and forth to my chemo treatments. I just didn't feel well enough to drive myself home. I could have in a pinch, but I had support of friends so I took it. The hospital I was going to also offered transportation services if I needed it.
If friends and family offer to do things for you, take them up on it. It's sometimes hard to except help or perhaps the help being offered isn't exactly what you want, take it anyway. It makes others feel good to help you and then the help continues.
Hang in there and please let me know if you have any questions. I know you can do this. Just take a deep breath and keep marching forward. You will look back on this time and see that you had strength that you didn't even know you had. Let me know how things are going.