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    jessst13 asked a questionAdrenal Cortical Cancer (Adrenal Cortex Carcinoma)

    Letting Go

    7 answers
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar
      LiveWithCancer

      Big hugs. What you are going through is extremely difficult. I don't know how to ease your pain or distress. The verse IronMom posted is comforting.

      over 5 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      They Offer Continuous Care around the clock towards the last week or so. ASK them and a Nurse (usually an LPN is ALWAYS there...big help !! SO SORRY.....it's really horrible and sad but just do the best you can. The end of her suffering is within sight and then she'll be free of pain and distress and be with the Angels and GOD....Sorry

      over 5 years ago
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      Hey Jess.....How old are you and your brother?
      There is NO Dress Rehearsal for OUR death of a Loved Ones SO it's all new.
      BUT Nobody escapes from it EVER that we know of. Make sure you give her pain meds as needed and not just on schedule. Don't worry about giving her TOO MUCH......Does she have those adult diapers? You can get some type of rubber type sheet that are easily just cleaned right there.

      over 5 years ago
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    jessst13 wrote on kashubian's wall

    Thank you so very much for your comment. I think you're right. That helped me understand a lot. God bless you !!

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    jessst13 asked a questionAdrenal Cortical Cancer (Adrenal Cortex Carcinoma)

    Caring for my mother and I know we are approaching the end.

    10 answers
    • lilymadeline's Avatar
      lilymadeline

      I’m so sorry! Talk to her because she can probably still hear you, even if she doesn’t respond the odds are that she really can. Hold her hand, she will know you are there. Keep your voice loving and light if you can manage to do so. I kept having to run out of my mothers room to cry but I tried my hardest to hold it together in her presence. You can break down later, in fact you most certainly will. Right now just take it minute by minute.....stay with her.....be close to her.....hold her and tell her how much you love her!!!! She may have some time where she comes back for awhile and can have a conversation again, so prepare for that because if there is anything that you will want to ask her, that might be your best and last opportunity. Again, I was there myself next to my mother for the last few days of her life, I never left her except to get up and cry. Some people want to pass alone and others want to pass with their loved ones right next to them. So don’t feel bad if she lets go the minute that you walk out of the room....
      You sound like an incredible daughter and I know that she loves you very much! Losing a mother is devastating, they are so special and love their children so deeply! Spend time with your family, spend time with your friends and seek out a support group for grief if you need one! Give over the funeral plans to a friend of hers if you can’t handle it. I did that because I could barely function and didn’t have any other family for help, and I am very glad that I did. If people ask to help, let them and tell them exactly what you need and want. Be careful about ‘friends’ and ‘relatives’ getting greedy over crazy things and don’t let them take advantage of you or your brother. I was shocked when one of my mothers best friends asked for a very valuable family heirloom for a ‘remembrance’ of my mother! It was a statue worth about $5,000.00 at the time and she knew it! Plus it was from my dad’s side of the family and not my moms. I gave her a pair of my mother’s earrings that were a favorite and not very valuable, and that was appropriate. When my father passed a few days later one of his ‘friends’ knocked on the door and told my mom and I that my dad has promised to give him his car. Really? My dad dropped dead of a heart attack, he didn’t even know he was leaving us and he didn’t even like that man very much. People are amazing sometimes and I’m sorry to bring this up, but you need to know and be prepared because death brings out the best and the worse in people sometimes.....
      But back to the important things-I don’t think that there are any words to express the emptiness I have felt myself since losing my mother, but still she is always there with me a little and I know that your mother will always be with you a little even if she passes on from this earth to God’s hands. Know that! God Bless!

      over 5 years ago
    • lilymadeline's Avatar
      lilymadeline

      PS. the friend who asked for the family heirloom was not one of the friends who helped plan her funeral....just saying!

      over 5 years ago
    • GeorgiaD's Avatar
      GeorgiaD

      Hugs and love Jess...just keep talking because hearing is the last to go and also give her permission to go if she wants to,very important to do this. Losing your mom will be more then hard so please go to group when Hospice offers it to you because it really does help. Prayers for you,stay strong.

      over 5 years ago