• jimfrommin's Avatar

    jimfrommin wrote on edwards's wall

    Here is a story a friend of mine posted when her grand daughter, age one, was diagnosed with a brain tumor on Christmas Eve 2 years ago.
    I hope this helps your husband deal with his anger. Maybe he can read this. Being treated badly by him is the last thing you, as caregiver, and loving spouse, need.

    The Crap Sandwich

    Imagine every year for Thanksgiving that you and your family go to a wonderful all-you-can-eat buffet. The food is always great and you look forward to getting the same delicious meal, year after year. So this year, you give your standard order to the waitress: an appetizer of “love”, a “caring” salad, the side dishes “thoughtfulness” “compassion” and “laughter” and a big, juicy entrée of “good health and happiness for everyone”. The waitress brings you everything you asked for but the entrée. Instead, in front of you on the table, she places a big, fat crap sandwich. And the conversation goes a little something like this:
    You: “Excuse me, I didn’t order this crap sandwich.”
    Waitress: “House special. You got it without asking.”
    You: “But I don’t want a crap sandwich. I want good health and happiness for everyone.”
    Waitress: “Well, you got a crap sandwich.”
    You (getting upset) “Well take it back and give me what I asked for instead!”
    Waitress points to a sign that says “Absolutely NO substitutions.”
    You say adamantly: “There is positively no way I am going to be able to choke down this crap sandwich and I think it’s really unfair for you to expect me to.”
    And the waitress replies, “Hey, look. You’ve still got love, caring, thoughtfulness, compassion and laughter, so try to appreciate those. Oh, I almost forgot, here’s your condiment tray for the crap sandwich. You also get big overflowing bowls of fear, worry, anger, guilt and resentment. Bon Appetit!”
    And so you’re looking around the restaurant, feeling really grumpy about your crap sandwich, and you realize that there are a lot more people with crap sandwiches than you ever thought possible. And from the looks on their faces, none of them ordered them either. Then you see a couple of tables with really, really big, Dagwood-sized crap sandwiches and you summon the waitress again.
    “Excuse me, why are their crap sandwiches so big?”
    And she explains that those people are facing situations even worse than yours. Their kids haven’t responded well to treatment, have had cancer relapses, or worse yet, died.
    And you start to think maybe your crap sandwich isn’t so bad after all. Maybe you should keep your big mouth shut, choke it down, and be glad when it’s all gone and everyone is well again. And then, right then, your waitress reminds you of one last thing: “Management reserves the right to serve you another, bigger crap sandwich, anytime they want.”

    • edwards' Avatar

      I like that story. Thanks, I have had a day with him today. This brought a smile & a tear to me. I am a people person, him not so much. Thank-you again for reminding me we are so blessed.

      almost 10 years ago
    • donamy's Avatar

      Ok. i will comment but I dont know where to go to see your replys. I am ok now and feeling like living again. I read one guy, that had a worse time than me. I am glad he was that brave and all i had was the cuting it out on Jun 20 last year and almost a year now. They said no Chemo for me as i had back surgeries and they thought it would be more pain than i could take. At 72, I am still a cry baby.. So, just to join the group and hear your stories. I just lay in my hospital bed all day and i did mop the floor from my wheel chair today but, that was work. I also have a broken thy bone about a 8 in.. long split. It is healing up.. The did the surgery on Feb. 12 and put the 10 in plate in there and ten screws. It has almost no pain now and will be walking on it if a few weeks. So, I am ok in all pain areas now. Oh, I got staff infection and had eight boils on my butt that they had to lance. All is well but two of them. So, that pain is a little less after about two months of it. Well, the back surgeries were three in just a little over a year. 1990 and that still hurts but now bad any more.
      All in all , with thousand of prayers, i really appreciate people that care and those that dont care dont bother me. I am doing fine and now have more time to pray for others.
      Sorry people are having MUCH more pain than I have. I think i cry more about not being able to talk. It is hard on me and even harder on others to listen to the stupid Donald duck voice on the little talk box. Well better go mop some more. I live in a little two room house so not much sweeping and mopping to do. My name is Donald and not too bad sounding like Donald duck. grin.

      about 7 years ago
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