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    Side Effects (Weight loss, neuropathy, confusion and memory loss, hair loss, depression...many.): There are a lot of side effects to not only your treatment, but the experience of having cancer. Balance is key, which is way easier said than done and there will be stretches of days..many days where balance is a long gone feeling. It is an ebb and flow, just keep searching for the sun behind whatever cloud you feel and if you need a moment to breathe, be away from everything. I have never understood just being away from chaos and the everyday responsibilities of life...and just sit. We need time to be alone, calm and away from things...this is very subjective to each person I think. But I have felt the need for this, the peace of it, and the guilt in taking it, as it takes me away from my family. Cancer is a shared endeavor...as our the side effects.

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    Procedure or Surgery (Surgery): I had a liver surgery to try and remove the spots they discover in a later PT scan after my colon surgery. I had this less than two weeks after the birth of my fourth daughter...the hardest part of this was not being able to really contribute the beautiful beginnings of my daughters life...however, her mother, my amazing wife was able to have a very special time with her, as well as having the support of our loved ones...we were able to do this. It all comes down to support, and more importantly allowing others to support you. This was very difficult for me as I was always the tree that gave shade...not I needed others and more, they needed to be able to be there for me. Cancer is a lot of things, but it can also show you the true beauty of the human soul.

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    Procedure or Surgery (Implant chemotherapy port): I had a port so I could carry my little chemo pouch with a pump I had to wear for 48 hours after going into the institute for about 3 hours of treatment. Then I would have 2 weeks to recover. So I got this strange plastic bulge in my chest to deliver my chemo and the fact I am so lean and was also still training...it looked like I had some sort of huge growth. It was crazy, you could literally see the three dots through my skin, pressing..it was weird! So I named it..his name was Pre, in honor of Steve Prefontaine in Eugene OR..cause he also was just a little ahead of the rest of me on our runs and races...dealing with all this requires a sense of humor..truly.

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    Radiation (External radiation ): Radiation was quick and every day for about 7 minutes. I would come in right after dropping my son off at school and run, in varying order. I always felt bad jumping up on that table literally running or riding to the institute, as I just finished sweating like I stole something. But they were great and very supportive, first class in understanding what I was dealing with it and the manner in which I was dealing with it. But the physical was in the bowels, nothing externally..just painful in my bowels. Feeling very tired as well, like sand bags on my legs.

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    Drug or Chemo Therapy (Chemotherapy): I hated chemo...I hated chemo...I hated chemo. I did chemo so I could say I did it, my doctors explained to me what we were dealing with..I did not have time to mess around and I needed to complete this so I could make a decision for myself. This was very difficult but it revealed so much about the depth of the fire one can have in their soul with the support of those around them..and a true belief in themselves that they will not go quietly into the night. So I continued to train and run races...that was how I brought balance to the equation. But again, chemo sucks, you must find something to balance out the places it takes you. I did 13 rounds of chemo and matched it with 13 races. I did an 18 trail run 24 hours after chemo. I ran 2 marathons in a week after I finished my final round of chemo...I had never even ran one before. It was painful, real, and undoubtedly one of the most amazing experiences I was able to share with my family, friends and supporters. I hated chemo and I refused to let cancer hold me back from living how I wanted to live. One must find their own fire in their journey with cancer, but never are they alone...this is a strong group...cancer warriors.

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    Procedure or Surgery (Colon surgery (colectomy or hemicolectomy)): As a two sport collegiate athlete I never had a surgery..luckily. So this experience was surreal, but with my support..my family, my wife..I was able to work through the experience. I wrote everyday in a journal..strange to read the words today.