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    KaylaK shared an experience

    Oh No (Diagnosed): My mom is a healthy, 50 year old who has never smoked a day in her life. She had odd bruising one day in may and went to her doctor and ended up being squamous cell esophgeal cancer. The doctors she was sent too for treatment wanted to operate right away. We decided as a family to send her down to Florida for a second opinion and be with her parents. So she went and between myself (20) My dad and little sister (15) she is never without one of us. The doctors down in Florida confrimed it was stage 4 and inoperable. She's coming to the end of her 30 days of radiation. And tomorrow July 26th, she goes for her second 5hour chemo treatment then wears a bag with chemo going continuously in her port for four days.

    This was so unexpected (well when is cancer expected).

    I though I was doing well, being happy, going about my everyday life but I've been in denial. I'm not sure how to cope with this. I've been pushing it off and blocking it out because I just can't come to terms with my mommy having cancer. I guess you can say im numb to everything right now, and everybody except my mommy.

    Im hoping that this site will help me connect with everyone and help me through.

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    KaylaK asked a questionEsophagus (Esophageal) Cancer

    My mom has stage 4 esophgeal cancer. She was diagnosed in may. She's 50 and never smoked once in her life. I need to talk to someone:(

    7 answers
    • abrub's Avatar

      Do you have a Gilda's Club or Hope Club near you? They have special support groups for caregivers/family. You need people who will understand what you are going through, and this fraternity of cancer patients and family members is quite unique.

      Another thought might be a counselor or therapist. It's reasonable to have uncontrolled anger about the unfairness of your situation. Having a safe place to vent is very helpful. I know my counselor is very helpful - I recently spent an hour with him dropping the "f-bomb" about cancer because of my fury with what was happening to my friends. I'm not one to use that language, but there are some situations where no other words seem quite right....

      Hug her, love her, and yes, be angry. Life isn't fair. Cancer is a beast and does horrible things to wonderful people.

      about 4 years ago
    • FreeBird's Avatar

      Hi KaylaK, Best wishes to you, your mom and family. Your situation shows that cancer can strike anyone. My dad smoked like a chimney for the first part of his life, and has been affected by two different cancers for which smoking is a risk factor-- currently a stage IV pancreatobiliary cancer. Maybe your mom would have had to deal with health issues a lot sooner if she was a smoker. There are a lot of people out here and in your community who understand the shock, emotions, and the overwhelming thoughts that run through your mind. You might check with your mom's cancer center, or a local cancer center/hospital to see if there are any local support groups/social networks that reach out to families too.

      The American Cancer Society has a contact phone number or live chat for information http://www.cancer.org/Treatment/index Look on the right side of that page, about halfway down.

      The National Cancer Institute at the National Institutes of Health has a helpline for information 1-800-4-CANCER or an online chat also http://www.cancer.gov/ bottom of the page

      I am a caregiver for my dad. Try to take it one day at a time. I have never been closer to my dad than right now, and if you focus on living in the now, your mom and you can still have good days. It's hard to lose your health, and to watch someone go through illness when you're used to seeing them so strong, capable and healthy. And it can be hard to cope with the inevitable changes of life. The river takes you where and when the river flows no matter how hard you row the boat. So you learn to focus on what you do have, and the little things you can control.

      There are helpful publications and websites all over the internet. The amount of information can be overwhelming in itself. In the end, you follow your heart and gut, have a good cry, and do the best you can.

      about 4 years ago
    • Mollie's Avatar

      Two zero nine nine one five seven three eight four if you want a phone buddy. I know it's sometimes easier to talk that way. They may block out the umber though. I'm sorry if that happens.

      about 4 years ago