If it had been suggested to you to have an RC, you definitely need to be at a major cancer center with a top urologist. See US News:
Thought I'd suggest - you mention consulting other docs - didn't know to what level you went.
To have an RC is a major decision and you want to get it right - now! It is a very scary decision; I know it was for me. My stage/grade was T2G3 pre-RC. Turned out to be T3G3N1 after RC a short time later. I was so thankful I had the RC with Indiana Pouch. My life very likely was saved by doing so and I get along just fine with my IP.
Also, did your uro give you your stage/grade?
Also was your chemo Gem/Cis (Gemzar/Cisplatin)? Do drink lots of water during and after chemo.