• Kelly's Avatar

    Kelly asked a questionProstate Cancer

    I want to be the best support for my dear friend whom prostate cancer.......any suggestions would sincerely help. Thanks

    4 answers
    • MichaelV's Avatar
      MichaelV

      Prostate cancer can turn a man into a depressed state faster than anything I have ever seen. I have had a phrase I have used for many years, "Any day I get out of bed is a good day". It is hard to get to that point but it is what will save your friend from going down into that deep hole. If a man has surgery, radiation, drugs, chemo, etc. sooner or later his ability to have an erection will go away. I have several men who could just not get past that fact and have been told by several doctors that quite a few, faced with that side effect choose not to proceed with any therapy and die. Men don't like to talk about that problem but if you want to help, you have to get him to discuss it and accept it. From my personal experience, once you go on hormone therapy you can forget about your XXX(never liked that word since I was a kid, dick is the word!) and it is going to forget about you when it comes to sex and the cool thing is you(the man) will no longer be plagued by thoughts of sex. In many ways it can be a blessing. In my case, if I had know about hormone therapy back in my 20's I could have had a much more productive life!!!!! :-)
      There is a lot to be said about life. You have to find out what your friend feels life is. You may be quite surprised but accept what he says and then work with it so he keeps on talking and expressing his feelings.
      That is the best advice I can give you without more info. I hope there are more like you to help men who suffer from prostate cancer. Thank you from all men.
      Michael

      over 4 years ago
    • TomLand's Avatar
      TomLand

      Caring Bridge is a great site where your friend, perhaps with your assistance if needed, can keep a daily journal and friends/family from anywhere can visit the site, read the journal and write in the guestbook. I have found it a most valuable service for myself. It is free but asks for donations. A Google search will find it easily.

      over 4 years ago
    • TomLand's Avatar
      TomLand

      Also, some great tips in the BLOG here. Just look at top right of page.

      over 4 years ago
  • Kelly's Avatar

    Kelly shared an experience

    Oh No (Shocked to find out it was prostate cancer that had spread to his into his lungs.): I want to give him the best support that I can, and I don't know how to do this. I have made lists, and his first treatment is this coming Thursday. His oncologist wants to start with hormone blocking. We are both strong believers in our faith. However this diagnoisis of cancer is more than either of us are educated/equipped to handle. If anyone out there can send some advise on this, i sincerely welcome your wisdom. God bless and thank you.

    2 Comments
    • Afterglow's Avatar
      Afterglow

      I don't think anyone is ever ready for a diagnosis of cancer. It has to be one of the most difficult times of a person's life, whether the diagnosis is for you or a loved one. It's wonderful that you are concerned about how to support your loved one. The most important thing is just to be there for him. If he needs to cry or scream, that's ok. If he needs held do it; if he needs space, let him have it; if he needs to talk, let him. We all react differently and our needs can change from moment to moment. Encourage him to get support from others as well, such as your minister and congregation members.

      If at all possible and agreeable with him, also attend as many doctor's appointments with him as you can. It will not only provide support but help to make sure that as much information is taken in as possible since much will be covered and any one person does not always hear everything or think of the questions to ask.

      Just as important as your support for him is to take care of yourself. It is easy for a caregiver to get 'burned out.' Make sure you have someone to talk to, also, and take time away from the situation when possible, even if it's just having your hair done or going to a movie with a girl friend.

      over 4 years ago
    • MichaelV's Avatar
      MichaelV

      Before you go ahead with all the conventional stuff, get a copy of "Knockout" by Susan Sommers. It will give you a whole different perspective on options for handling cancer. I must say, I was very skeptical when I heard about the book. I was educated as a physicist and one of my favorite courses was Logic which I always got A's. I have to say what I read (and am rereading it now) changed my outlook on what I am going to subject myself to. YOU CAN"T BE TOO INFORMED. Also, there are many doctors who take it as a personal affront if you question their map for you proposed treatment. If this happens to you, take a big step back and seek a second opinion.

      over 4 years ago
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