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    User: avonlea02

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    kimberleykae asked a questionNon-Hodgkin Lymphoma (NHL)

    Chemo side effects or?? I don't know what to do for my mom!

    15 answers
    • kimberleykae's Avatar
      kimberleykae

      Hello all and thank you for all your responses, thoughts and prayers. I sat down with my mom and read everyone of these to her. My mom is not much up to speed on computer social media. Reading to her made her cry. I tried to tell her she is NOT alone. She/I still have so many questions, worries and fears..however what I read from all of you was sure blessing!!! Called one of her doctors, the warm bath helped. She didn't feel she was constipated, but she was! We started to get that in check. We will persue the Claritin for the next cycle of treatment too (neulasta)! She is still very depressed but I think a lot of that has to also do to the pain and her feeling sick. She is so afraid to take the Percocet that was prescribed to her for fear of addiction (ugh I told her that would not be an issue at all) and she says it just knocks her out. I'm working on this and trying to explain she only needs to take it as needed and to help control some of her pain.

      So many people tell me that God works in mysterious ways...it was only a month prior to her diagnosis that I was laid off from my job. I know it is a true blessing to be able to be caring for her...wouldn't trade it for the world. However I cannot be unemployed too much longer. Has any caregivers had this issue? I would love to be with her 24/7... I KNOW that every single day is a gift. I'm beating myself up over this. I know this is a huge worry for my mom too. She knows I need a job...but I know she is so so scared of who would be there for her during these difficult times.

      Thank you ALL again for your warm wishes, answers and concerns. And...thank you for letting me "vent". I don't have money to seek out counseling or help, I have this site/people to rely on only at this time....and I thank you for it! God Bless the Survivors and Fighters!!

      over 7 years ago
    • Schlegel's Avatar
      Schlegel

      Perhaps your mom can take the Percocet only at night. That way she can get some sleep, and that will help the pain a little. I'm glad to hear some things are getting better. I'll continue to pray for both of you. She will get better. Lymphoma is one of the better cancers to have.

      over 7 years ago
    • avonlea02's Avatar
      avonlea02

      Dear Kimberleykae:

      I am glad you and your mom are getting some much-needed support and good advice here! Please continue to share your thoughts, concerns and questions. I learn so much from here, even if the cancers/situations are different than my own; we are all in this together!

      Reading your post (in answer to some of these answers), you mentioned your ability to be able to care for your mom because you are out of work, and the concerns you face. I wish I had an answer, but I can share my experiences.

      Last year, I had "massive surgery" (the doctors still refer to it this way) with the hysterectomy/debulking, etc. and a foot-long abdominal incision. My children are grown and do not live nearby. They are all either working demanding jobs, have children to care for, and one is finishing college. I was discharged home and, although it was felt that I could manage, I was terrified to be alone at night, with no help if something happened.

      I reached out to my neighbors and friends - and found that I had far more of them than I ever knew. For about two weeks, I was able to find someone to sleep in a spare room in my house on most nights. Different people, different days, but people were willing to come and just "be" with me. I never did need their help at night...but just knowing they were there calmed me down.

      I got an infection in the incision, and had to return to the hospital. This required a drain that had to be monitored by a nurse for several weeks, adding to the "burden" of being home. But people still were there for me.

      I am not a "popular person" with friends all over (at least, I didn't think I had friends all over!) - but one of the many blessings I have been showered with through cancer is that I have discovered that there are so many good people "out there"; people who want to help - they just need to know how. I reached out and asked for help, and it showed up in all sorts of ways.

      This is my third cancer in 1.5 years, as I said before. People are not popping over as much now (they have lives to lead), but I know that if I need something, I can ask. I am constantly being told that. Fortunately, for this chemo, I did not need surgery, which makes a big difference. My needs are a bit less, and I am a bit more self-sufficient this time around.

      My point is this: Ask others for help. Reach out to those who can help your mom - AND YOU! I've been on both sides of the aisle, as a daughter with a mom who had cancer, and as the mom who has cancer of my children. I know the stress they are under, as you are as well. And do not forget, you can take care of your mom best when you have taken care of you. Make sure that you take time to be good to you; do something YOU like to do; treat yourself (doesn't have to cost money) to something you like to do...read a book, take a walk, go to a park, listen to music; whatever you like to do. But put YOU on the list. Then you can be refreshed enough to help Mom.

      God be with you, dear one. Reach out to others - as you are doing here - you'd be amazed at how many people really do want to help. Give them the chance by asking!

      Linda

      over 7 years ago
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    kimberleykae shared an experience

    Other Care (Caregiver): I'm my mom's caregiver....without the help of any of my brothers or sister. This is so scary and so tough!!!!

    1 Comment
    • tnoel68's Avatar
      tnoel68

      Kimberley ... so sorry to hear of your loss and your mom's diagnosis. I too am a caregiver to my son who is 22 years old. He has both Non-Hodkin's Lymphoma (large b cell mediastinal) and Hodgkin's. I fear every day and I am scared every day, wondering what if? I even as far as checking his breathing in the morning. Reach out to people on this site, they are helpful and understanding. Tina

      over 7 years ago
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    kimberleykae shared an experience

    Side Effects

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    kimberleykae shared an experience

    Side Effects (Pain): mom has lots of pain..very tired...constipation....the pain in her legs and hips have not changed/ she's had the pain for a couple of months...