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    legaljen1969 posted an update

    Just having one of those days where it is all just too much. My empath nature is just taking it all on and it's just swirling around like a vortex ready to sweep me up and jumble me and set me down somewhere else in utter destruction.
    I can't take what's happening in the world right now. I am tired of people getting killed just for living their lives. I am tired of unequal justice. I am tired of the anger, the rage, the hatred. I understand why it's swirling right now and I understand why protests and riots are happening. I would be mad as heck too. I just don't know why we can't treat each other more kindly and compassionately.
    I hate seeing people suffer and I hate seeing people feel so much pain and despair just for being who they are.
    I can't watch any more of the news. I can't listen to any more radio. My heart just can't do this right now.
    I have been worried about my parents health in the midst of COVID. I have been concerned about my sister-in-law who is having some neurological issues brought on by past drug abuse. I worry about my boss who seems to be losing his memory at 83 years old. I get distressed when he tells me I am not a good employee and I haven't been dependable ever since I took time off after surgery. I went back three weeks to the day after surgery, before my doctors wanted me to go back. The world shut down from COVID on the day I went back to work. I haven't missed one single day of work since then. The only days I worked from home were Good Friday and the Monday after Easter. We take in packages for the upstairs office because THEY have decided to "protect" their employees.
    I want to just take some darn time to process my own stinking life, but every time I want to take a breath, I am deemed the selfish one.
    sorry for being a crybaby today, but for goodness sake not one dang person in over three months has asked how I am doing. And tonight my husband told me he was tired of my changing clothes in front of him and he shouldn't have to look at my mastectomy scar. Well then don't look at it. What in the Hello??? Dang.
    I just feel so defeated. I guess I just need to go to bed and hope for better days to come.

    8 Comments
    • legaljen1969's Avatar
      legaljen1969

      And yes our vacation did have to stop. When everything we had planned has been closed down, we can't do it. The worst part is we can't get our money back to do something else. All of it has to be credited toward another future trip. We either lose everything and have no trip or transfer to sometime next year. It's just frustrating and both of us are just sick of looking at the reminder every day.

      4 days ago
    • MarcieB's Avatar
      MarcieB

      Thank you for posting the latest information about your husband's apology, I think we all feel a lot better knowing that. And it is completely understandable. The ravages of this disease and it's aftermath are bad enough without the added stress of our country falling apart. (!)

      4 days ago
    • Bengal's Avatar
      Bengal

      Oh, so glad to learn you got that call from hubbie. I hope you are able to eventually use that vacation get-away. Sounds like you both could use it. Hang on.

      4 days ago
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    legaljen1969 wrote on meyati's wall

    I am not sure how to get it so maybe we can communicate privately. I don't want to put contact info on your wall, but if its safe, let me know and I will send you info.