• GregP_WN's Avatar

    GregP_WN wrote on Mable's wall

    Hello and welcome, we are happy to have you with us. Please feel free to join in the conversations. Here is a link to our cancer dx page for your type of cancer. Take a look at it to get you started on some information. You will notice at the bottom of that page 4 of our active users who have had that journey already, you may wish to contact them for their experience and wisdom. Also, I encourage you to go to the questions page now by clicking on the questions tab at the top of the page and post what is the most pressing issue you have right now. This will introduce you to the community and get you started with the help you need right now.

    https://www.whatnext.com/conditions/cancer/lung-cancer

    There are also subtypes listed on this page to narrow down the type of cancer to match your dx. Also, if you can take a few minutes and fill in some details of your journey so far, it will help others as they try to answer questions for you, it also helps others as they search through the database to find someone like themselves. Confirming your email will allow you to receive updates and notices from the site when someone answers your questions or writes on your wall.

    Thanks for being with us and let me know if I can help you find any information on the site.

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  • Mable's Avatar

    Mable asked a questionBreast Cancer

    Supporting a Cancer Patient

    7 answers
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      I understand this is a stressful time for you, especially if you've lost your job, and I agree with all the great advice above. I'm sure it means the world to your sister for you to have agreed to be her son's guardian. She likely thinks very highly of you to have trusted her with her son---with that in mind, you could start a brief conversation telling her the most important thing you want her to know about the two of you and your feelings. If it's brief and to the point, she can either elaborate or stay silent, and she will know what you want her to know either way.

      There's a lot we don't know about the two of you, but Is it possible that since your immediate need is money because of being laid off, that she can help you while you help her, such as allowing you to move in with her?

      I have a sister I don't like, but love, so I sincerely wish you the best.

      10 days ago
    • jillybean56's Avatar
      jillybean56

      So sorry Mable, family situations make all of this so much more difficult to deal with. You want to help, but are sometimes shoved away or treated badly, it's not your fault. That is the one thing you have to keep at the front of your head, it is not ME it is THEM. You can try to deal with a totally dysfunctional family where perhaps YOU are the only normal one in the whole bunch, and may just have to step to the side and let all of them handle it. If things look out of hand, just make a call to social services and explain you want to remain anonymous, i.e., you do not want to be known as the "reporter" of the situation. Most will help you with that. This is a form of elder abuse and you do NOT want to be in the middle of it it all. If your sister is under some type of home care, perhaps get in touch with their social worker and let them know there is a situation. They probably already do. But put it in the hands of professionals to try to work it out, if possible. This is out of your capability. What a shame. Anger over a disease, cancer, whatever can affect a mind greatly, but it sounds like this has been a lifelong thing and has only greatly exacerbated with her diagnosis. Stage 4 cancer can, unfortunately, linger on or go quickly, you do not mention what type of cancer your sis has. And no, you do not HAVE TO be the support system, she has chosen her alone lifestyle, and now it will bite her, but need not bite you too. Don't let anyone take you down with them. She will surely use her diagnosis as a manipulating tool to make you jump thru her hoops. Don't fall for it. Support your niece/nephew as much as you can. Can you imagine the stress that young teen is under? Keep a close on that one, you don't want anything bad to happen, and this sounds like a powder keg. Cancer or not, it is a situation that needs professional help. Good luck to you, and no, not by any means are you being selfish. You care, they just can't see it. Leave the door open a crack, but keep the safety chain on. Wish you much luck.

      10 days ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      Resolving your income problem before decisions about your sister's situation might prevent the income stress from affecting decisions about your sister and son.

      Hopefully your shared history will give you pleasure at some point. Possibly looking at old photos with her son would help you all bond.

      9 days ago
  • Mable's Avatar

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    Mable shared an experience

    Oh No (Just Diagnosed)

  • Mable's Avatar

    Mable started following

    User: CancerNews

  • DaveWaz's Avatar

    DaveWaz wrote on Mable's wall

    Welcome to the WhatNext family! The WhatNext family is made up of people like you who are looking for help or looking to help others. To help you along your journey the WhatNext family has put together a Beginner's Guide to Cancer that I highly recommend you check-out here: http://bit.ly/10BQKCi. Also, please do not hesitate to reach out to others or ask for help.

    Wishing you the best.

    David
    Founder, WhatNexter