Dear Madonna,
Hi. I'm Aliza, a Breast Cancer patient. I'm also a Medical Librarian who's retired but who practices her profession on this site by offering non medical advice, referrals, and research to those who need and want it.
Let me say I was saddened by your news. I think what might help you in addition to some of the excellent suggestions you have gotten from other folks on the site is to contact CancerCare. The Social Workers there are specially and specifically trained to deal with only the issues facing Cancer patients and their caregivers. Talking with them isn't like "regular therapy". No one's interested in discussing your "toilet training" and no one is going to blame your mother"...;) It's all about helping you feel better so that you can make the best decisions possible during difficult times and they may be able to refer you to other resources as well. You can speak with a Social Worker either by phone or have an appointment in person (whatever you choose-whatever works best for you). They're very accommodating.
I cannot answer your medical question re chemo. Chemo depends on many variables - the Stage of the cancer, whether it's spread to the lymph nodes and I don't know whether they take into consideration that you've already had breast cancer already (even though it may be a different kind plus other variables that I don't even know). Your breast surgeon and especially your oncologist would be the best people to speak with (better than people on this site). Everyone here has their own experiences, but we're not You! I, especially cannot offer medical advice because as a Librarian, it's against our code of ethics and technically, it's also illegal. It would be considered practicing medicine without a license, which I take seriously. I can tell you the variables that I know of that go into making such a decision, but even if I knew your specifics and knew the answer, it still would be illegal for me to say and it wouldn't be appropriate. Sometimes I worry that someone with a question such as yours is advised by someone on WhatNext of something that might be very upsetting to them and that person is all alone with no family to support them and cannot reach their friends. That's another reason why it's important to really find a physician you trust and stick close to her/him.
It's also an excellent time if you belong to a religious community for you to contact your clergyperson and tell them what's happening with you. They are usually very warm and understanding and may be able to offer help in ways you didn't dream of. Some congregations have "sunshine committees" where members visit housebound or ill people to keep them company or drive them on errands. Most congregations have a discretionary fund if you need a small bit of money to tide you over with a bill, and your clergyperson can point you to contact a charitable agency in your faith like: The Jewish Board of Family and Children's Services, Catholic Charities, The United Federation of Protestant Welfare Agencies.
There are other sources for medications, one of them being www.needymeds.com. There are others, but they're not coming to mind at the moment. I'm sure someone else can fill them in. Let me know if you need more. You can also Google "Susan Komen" who offers grants.
Please don't hesitate to contact me if you need further information. You can do so on the site or even email me. I'm sure you'll get through this. Just try to stay calm-easier said than done. You might try to look into different forms of meditation- Zen, Transcendental Meditation (Jerry Seinfeld endorses them now). There is a catalogue called Gaiam (www.gaiam.com) where you can probably order meditation background music.
I wish you the best of luck in a difficult situation,
AlizaMLS
