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    Wall_baburibbon

    Another clear CT scan for Darrell and three skin cancers, including a melanoma in situ (surface only) removed. His oncologist has moved his CT scans from every 4 months to every 6 and a full-body examination by his dermatologist to every 6 months. We are staying on top of things.

    But I needed to share the journey of a childhood friend, reunited with his first love just a few years ago, and married only two years to her when she was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer with bone mets. That was in July of last year. She passed away this morning around 3:00. She had smoked for 40 years and quit smoking two years ago. Her disease was entrenched, virulent and deadly. She decided against any more chemo when it showed no signs of stopping the growth of the tumors. The chemo was so hard on her that she decided to face whatever came on her terms. She did so with courage and grace.

    Not all the stories have happy endings. She never lost hope but she also was a pragmatist. She was grateful that she had been given a few very very happy years at the end of her life. She was in her early 60's.

    This morning, I am very sad but relieved that Babu's pain is over. Darrell and I are celebrating dodging that particular bullet and I know that my friend is happy for us. It is good to be upbeat and hopeful. I won't stop being in that camp. But cancer is a long way from being defeated. There are some strains that are still killers...the survival rate past a year for stage IV lung cancer is 1%. We are making a modest donation to that research in her name. No one knows better than this group how vital that research is.

    Another word....If you smoke, quit! If you don't, then don't start. It's not the only cause but it is a proven cause.

    2 Comments
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      Sorry for your friend, but happy for Darell's good scan.

      almost 5 years ago
    • MamaRobina's Avatar
      MamaRobina

      Thank you, Greg. But all I can think of, today, is how much my friend is hurting.

      almost 5 years ago
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    MamaRobina asked a questionNon-Hodgkin Lymphoma (NHL)

    A "Quirky Journey?"

    24 answers
    • DJS's Avatar
      DJS

      My friend "60s" also died from smoking. Another, longer BFF, also died from smoking (40s), and both said the same thing to me as I held their hands at the hospital: "The worst thing is that I know I did this to myself." I get teary just typing those words. I have few people in my life who smoke anymore, but I beg them to stop…they don't or won't…I know they wish I'd just shut up, but….those words haunt me: "I know I did this to myself." I don't want anyone else to lose their friend to this, or for anyone to die feeling that they are in this misery because of something they caused. My heart breaks whenever I see someone standing outside a building on a cigarette break. Someone else will lose their friend…Please everyone: be a pest. Get them to stop smoking before you have to be the one holding their hand in the hospital.

      about 5 years ago
    • CDC's Avatar
      CDC

      My husband went with me for my first two treatments. My family was not very supportive so I started having my daughter go with me so my husband could be home to get our nine year old son from school. My daughter said she hated to admit it but she looked forward to our chemo time. I told her that I didn't look forward to the treatment but I did look forward to spending time with her. I told her that it was ok for her to look forward to it. We have had bad, sad, happy, sleepy and good days. I had my last treatment today and so we are thinking about ways we can spend time together at least once a month as we have for the last four months only doing something more fun. The most funniest day we had was when a student nurse came in my room and started asking me questions and realized she had the wrong chart. She said she would be back in a minute. My daughter whispered to me that she thought she had the wrong chart and I said how do you know? She said because it had someone else's name on it. We both started laughing so hard that tears were running down our faces!

      almost 5 years ago
    • katds' Avatar
      katds

      Depends on the day and my mood. Usually, I'm a very positive person. I wake up on the right side of the bed. I look on that bright side because things could always be worse. One day I was talking to my sister and said "at least I don't live in Syria" and she responded by saying "yes, things could always be worse but that doesn't mean you're not having a shi**y day!" That one little statement helped me so much. Sometimes when I'm being positive I realize there's a little voice somewhere in my head that is saying "Bu**sh*t! you don't really believe that!" So, I've been letting it out a little more, and I'm sounding, well...crabby, b*tc!y, cynical and sarcastic. And sometimes I wanna take a big black marker and color over those memes! Then I try and put it in perspective and hope they are good for somebody. I know there are people in many different stages of illness here. Maybe they will make someone smile. Actually, this realization has been good for me, guess I needed to let it out.
      I was taught to "be a good girl" and good girls don't get angry, they cheer other people up and don't ask anything for themselves, they don't ask for help and they go to the bathroom when they have to fart. Weird, huh?

      almost 3 years ago
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