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    User: GranEM

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    MaryTD777 wrote on GranEM's wall

    When the heck will I learn to look around before I start talking. I don't know what's going on and it's 330 am and I am dozing off. I will try to read more before I say much else but till then, please ignore my previous post, the one below this one. Just ignore!

    XoxoX

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    MaryTD777 wrote on GranEM's wall

    Hey you! I know I haven't been on in a while, I since I am here is HAD to grab my purple crayons and write Hill Hon! How you doing? Happy 5 years! ! FIVE! WooHoo! I hope you partied and had a great time!

    I quit smoking just as easily last time! Bugs the poo outta me that I didn't do it when my little girl asked! Makes me wonder if she ever would have started.

    Anyway, I just wanted to say Hiya!! XoxoX

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    MaryTD777 wrote on GranEM's wall

    Laughing my buns off at you running with crayons!!! Just don't run with scissors! I just noticed that you are in Spotswood, NJ!!! I grew up in EB and raised my daughter in No. Bruns. and Milltown! I saw the thread you started (Sorry, I don't see you using your crayons on threads LOL!!) about your doctor telling you that it usually recurs in three years. I think that there is so much info out there that is hard to know what to believe anymore! Aside from all of that is the fact that you are NOT a statistic!! You are Gran EM and you are different than any other lung cancer survivor!! You will create your own set of odds and they will suit you, and ONLY you!!

    Being that I am out in PA now, 45 minutes outside of Philly, I don't know if I am still allowed to say this, but as long as I am saying to a Jersey girl, I thinkk I am OK.

    When it comes to ANY of the numbers out there Fugetaboutit!!

    I know it's hard. I am going for my long day Thursday. Lab work, CT scan, 2 hour wait so somebody can go over the scan and send my doc a preliminary report, see the resident and then the doc. It may or may not be the same resident or doc as last time. There are two medical oncologists on my team and the residents usually do a six month rotation in thoracic cancer before moving on.

    When this all started I was going for this "long day" every 3 months. After 3 years it went to six and if all goes well next week at my 4 year scan (four years since my surgery a/k/a when I became cancer free!!) I will "graduate" to annual scans. In my eyes the longer it is between scans & visits the better the doctors feel about leaving you alone to live your life and not have it constantly interrupted by scans and the nerves that come with them. It's GOOD NEWS!!

    It's even been a little scary just waiting 6 months between scans. It feels like we are giving things too long to grow if something does come back, but it CAN happen!! You CAN survive DECADES after going through a bout with lung cancer!! My buddy went through his bout 9 years before me and unless you see his scar when he's in the pool or something ~ you would NEVER guess he was a survivor!! He actually had the exact same Med Onc. and Surgeon that I had!! He TOLD me that I was going to Fox Chace Cancer Center in Philly even if he had to come to Jersey and TAKE me there LOL!!! He's a great friend!!

    I hope you find a doctor that you can deal with soon. You have to be able to trust these people. You have to be able to trust them with your LIFE!! It's important to feel good about that!

    Be well,
    XoxoX
    Mary

    1 Comment
    • GranEM's Avatar
      GranEM

      Hey you are around the corner? I am a Connecticut - born and bred. A Army Bat who got waylaid when we came from France and stayed in NJ so my dad could have the Army Hospital. My husband was born in Newark. We moved to Spotswood in 1970. The not so very long ago it became "Monroe Township" Our little part of the tail end of Spotswood. Lived in Monroe for 45 years. When my other half died after moving to Clearbrook - 5 years then got to expensive I moved to Spotswood Senior Housing. My children and my muchkins are each just an 1 to 2 miles away. My first born munchkin and the love of my life lives about an hour away. He is now 16 and getting his license!

      Am graduating to annual scans (hopefully if all is well in Dec). I'm still working on deciding if to stay w/oncologist. If this were a private email I would tell what I think about him! Then I go through well you will only have to see him once a year. My fear is that he will decide that (eventually) my age if something happens is not a ???? for him to even try. I am having difficulty with whole thing. I don't know who to talk about it to and what to do about. Support group wasn't much help. They all just yelled get a new one and went on w/their problems. I felt guilty because that was my complaint while theirs were all devastating news. So I have been feeling guilty since.

      I am carrying on - sorry. I know where Fox Chace is in Philly - I have a dear friend who had breast cancer and when went to Fox Chace. She lives in Nazath, PA about 1 to 1-1/2 from here depending on the traffic.

      Take care you - I could keep on talking so I best stop my hands for dancing on my keyboard.

      Take Care and Be Well. } (that's one side of hug) X and { this is the other part of hug. At least according to my 10 year granddaughter.

      over 1 year ago
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    MaryTD777 wrote on GranEM's wall

    Sorry GranEM, I just saw your post on my experience!!

    Thanks so much for your comment and congrats on coming up on 4 years!! I actually quit when I felt sure that the call was coming, which is also the date I use as the Dx. The Pulmonologist I went to for the biopsy had a XXX of a nurse who actually refused to let me know that she had the reports because I had called too many times in the week plus that went by between the actual procedure and when I found out ~ which I actually got from my Primary cuz the B*tch told me ... and I quote ~ If you are in such a PLEEB hurry call the BLEEP hospital cuz it ain't my BLEEP fault that they have not given me the BLEEP report yet!!!

    I called the hospital and they said that the report had been faxed 3 hours earlier. I had her refax to my PCP and he called me within minutes and he was choked up to tell me even tho we probably only met 3 times... about the same number as this witch and I!

    WOW, I just made myself cry.

    Anyway, I think it was around the day of the biopsy that I use as the Dx. day as it was the quit day. I was online (again!!) searching for info on lung cancer and everything I read said ~ if the patient is otherwise healthy and a non-smoker, surgery may save them. OK, sorry, paraphrasing, but you get it. I saw myself reaching to light up and actually yelled at myself out loud!! What the ___ is wrong with me?? I am reading the same thing, page after page, and about to light up??? So I took my cigs and put them 5 feet away. I was only allowed to smoke in the garage cuz my hubby didn't want me stinking up the house 0_o
    Those 5 feet were enough! Every time I reached for a smoke I reminded myself why I had moved them across the room. It worked!

    Why didn't I quit all those times my daughter asked me to? If I had, would she have not started? Will her daughter be able to convince her when I can't ~ even after all this? Who knows. I can only hope!

    We still need to remind the world that Non & Ex smokers also get lung cancer and no one is immune and everyone needs to look for it!!

    Be well!!
    XoxoX
    Mary

    I tried to reply there and it won't post, so I am trying here ~ sorry!

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    • GranEM's Avatar
      GranEM

      Thank you Mary - Never knew I had wall that someone could write on! Here we teach our little ones "no writing on the walls" and look - as adults we get write on the walls. I have crayons in hand and I drawing the walls! This is fun. Be well Mary and don't take that cig. I have been grazing this year - after all the excitement has left - diagnosis, surgery, chemo, radiation - losing 25 lbs. Sure was liking my size 8's. I have spent the last month or so grazing - because I do want to smoke. I usually in my other life would do a power walk whenever I was stressed. Cannot do that anymore. Breathing is different. So I graz - vanilla pudding, tapioca pudding - (uses 3 tbls of sugar) , etc. etc. etc. so now I have to lose it - but cannot get past this desire to smoke. Funny didn't even think about it while I was doing it (needed to to) - but now 2 1/2 later - and things have changed again - I have a different oncologist and I am not liking it. I have met him and I don't like him. I want my female Dr. Surakanti back! I don't want this blankety mmmmmmmmmm. I am trying to find a new one and I might even go outside the hospital. That is how much I dislike this man! but I am working myself up - time to graz! Take care Mary, Angels keep you safe - Be Well!! And don't be sorry I often have times when it won't let me post where I am supposed to - but never knew the wall - really - Everybody OUT - crayon time - I have a box of crayons that has all the colors in it. I'm having fun scribbling on the wall. shhhhhhhhhhh don't tell my little munchkins.

      Be well and take care you! XOXO GranEm

      over 1 year ago