Hi motherslove, it sounds like you and your husband are going through a lot. I am going to suggest that you also post this in our Questions section as a way to get more people to see this and provide you with their insight. You can do this by clicking on Questions in the purple bar above and then typing in the text box.
The American Cancer Society has a 24 hour hotline that can help: the phone number is to the right and at the bottom of this page. Here is a page on the ACS website that provides caregiver support: http://www.cancer.org/Treatment/Caregivers/index. Also, one of our WhatNextner's, @robcares, has has a wonderful blog for caregivers, http://www.robcares.com. If you would like, please take a look when you have a chance for some good ideas.