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    User: CancerNews

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    redrose wrote on Carol-Charlie's wall

    The reason I don't sleep, I am afraid not waking up. I know that sounds strange because my tumor is pressing on my lungs and heart. I wake up all night long.
    I have days that I want to just give up. I am tired being in wheel chair and use a walker. I can't walk because the tumor.
    I am name the tumor. I call it charlie. My legs swell like balloons that is why I can't walk.
    I have two things chemo go through. Then a major surgery. I have to have full hysterectomy.
    I am eating but not much.
    I ask God why I got sick. When I first was in the hospital when I was really sick. I told my mom that I was fading away
    because my body felt like was giving up. I heard a voice told me that I was going to be ok. No one was in the room.
    I was in a bad place for rehab. I had to go to learn walk little bit and bathroom. Every night it was 85 degrees in the building. Nurses weren't the greatest. I had the wrong kind of meds. I still have nightmares of that place.
    I end up with a leg infection. The nurse keep putting my bag that I use to go to the bathroom on my bad leg. The metal part of bag gave me cut.
    I won't have any clothes that will fit me because they going make my stomach flat. I am size 6x. I have buy new clothes.
    I want to be able to travel with my mom. I miss doing things with her. I miss going to a casino near us to see shows.
    I do pray at night. We say the rosary before bed or when I can't sleep.
    I also have to be there my mom, and two nieces. My two nieces are special to me. I want to be able to do things with them. We went to move to Florida to be closer to them. I also want to get a kitten if we move. I wrote a bucket list and I want to do a lot of things on it.
    I want to thank you for writing to me. It means a lot to me.

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    redrose started following

    User: Carson

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    redrose shared an experience

    Drug or Chemo Therapy (Chemotherapy): I am sick on and off from it. I can't eat sometimes. I am sick to my stomach too.

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    redrose shared an experience

    Other Care (Home care)

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    redrose shared an experience

    Decision Point (to get better.): I decision to get better and take my life back. I want to be able walk again normal. Smile again.