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    robinjshartzer asked a questionPancreatic Cancer

    Dealing with guilt

    31 answers
    • barryboomer's Avatar
      barryboomer

      I meant D Day was my Diagnosis Day....I don't have a destination date lololol.....
      I feel great and have no treatments....just eating my plant foods, special supplements, green drinks and trying to relax with HOPE and Belief......Yogi once said IT AIN'T OVER TILL IT'S OVER and Woody Allen said I DON'T MIND DYING, I JUST DON'T WANT TO BE THERE WHEN IT HAPPENS....they once asked a 90 year old George Burns if his Doctors were mad at him for smoking cigars....he replied " HOW DO I KNOW THEY'RE ALL DEAD.

      almost 5 years ago
    • Russ' Avatar
      Russ

      Good for you barryboomer...I should have known D-day was diagnosis day. Good to hear that you are not on any treatments, and seem to be doing well with your own regiment. My best to you...keep fighting the good fight.

      almost 5 years ago
    • geekling's Avatar
      geekling

      There are two types of people in this world ... those who think they are in control and those who know better. To which group do you and your family wish to belong?

      The only thing which remains the same is change because it keeps happening so you might as well get used to it and even learn to use it to your benefit. Learning why your are ill is sometimes a relief (no, you aren't crazy) and sometimes a cause of great grief (it is a huge loss). Doctors talk about the 7 stages of grief. I don't remember them all ... denial, anger, bargaining .. guilt is profitless. Acceptance allows a family to make plans to overcome your very real health challenge. You need your energy to get well instead of to feed useless notions like blame and guilt and such. The kids will be more frightened if they see you fail in any manner and have no idea what is going on than if they had a clue that you just don't feel so good and the medicine the doctor is giving you tastes like dried poops with moldy ketchup on top (the kids are young, yes? Young folks still giggle at bathroom humor, do they not?) and upsets your tummy or something along that vein.

      Predicting the future is also very iffy. A physicist/sci fi writer named Issac Asimov wrote a series of books based on a premise that someone had figured it out. Once he'd imagined that a solution was possible to the question of how to live and deal with a completely unexpected future which has become known and tamed, he wrote about how pretty much anything is possible instead of sheer chaos. You and hubby, IMHO, made a mistake. Cancer is always the 800 pound gorilla in a small room. Pretending it isn't there or that you can easily get around it does not increase your odds of surviving its visit.

      Men don't easily admit it but they also have fears and, some of them, are not easily conquered. The family is stronger together and with a plan against that 800 pound *itch or *astard so as to most expediently get it to leave your house, your town, heck, why not the whole planet?

      Open your hand and your heart and let guilt fall away like water dripping off your body as you step from the shower. The whole family needs healthier, more positive emotions and expectations like, say, hope. Louisville is a reasonable city, is it not? Any Gilda's Club will provide a counselor to assist the family in how to deal.

      If affordable, go private but please do not continue to waste time and efforts.

      Best wishes

      P. S. Would you mind, please, using a search engine to look up and research Chaga mushroom extract? As I understand it, it can be used adjunctive to chemotherapy and/or radiation. Ask your Doctor, of course, if he has any objections to a few drops of mushroom extract.

      almost 5 years ago
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    Question: Dealing with guilt