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    User: hilary

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    sandykim7 posted an update

    My mom has just completed the second part of round 1 Chemo treatment. She has horrible mouth sores, drug rash covering about 3/4 of her body and is down to 90 pounds. We have addressed the rash and mouth sores with the doctor.

    As far as food and fluid intake?.....If I am willing to put up with the dirty looks and her seemingly constant agitation with me asking her to eat or drink something, she is lucky to get what we would consider 1 entire meal and 26 oz of fluid each day.

    I hate this. I have to just try and ignore the meanness and remember that she loves me no matter how angry she can get at me, I know she is scared.

    I know also, if I do not continue to suffer her anger and agitation when I offer food and drink she will continue to shrivel away before my eyes.

    Sometimes it is almost to much for me to bare. and then I remember .......
    She is really very sweet between the hours of 2am and 5:am ; )
    This is my time to have my true mom back and I want to continue having that more than anything.
    I love you momma.

    2 Comments
    • KarenG_WN's Avatar
      KarenG_WN

      Hi SandyKim7, being a caregiver can be so hard. We have so many wonderful caregivers who might be good for you to connect with, or if you'd prefer, you can read through their experiences. People like @hilary @kamelio and @FreeBird are all caregivers to parents. I hope this helps and please feel free to let us know how else we can help. Here is a a link to some information for caregivers from the American Cancer Society: http://bit.ly/Pu6Tm5 and a wonderful blog by caregiver and WhatNexter @robcares: http://www.robcares.com. You are not alone, we will support you in any way we can.

      about 4 years ago
    • FreeBird's Avatar
      FreeBird

      Hello! It is difficult sometimes finding the balance between being both a family member and a caregiver. You want to do everything to help someone you love. What I do is empower dad by reminding him that he is the one who is in charge of his health, and that I'm only here to help if he needs or wants it. I can be a helper by making the food, providing drinks, and making sure it's in front of him. but I say it's 100% up to him whether he feels like eating or not. Then I remind him how long it's been since he ate or drank last, if he's a little foggy. Eat what you can, leave the rest, and if I can get anything else that you feel like having, I'll go anywhere or we can go together. If you see a doctor regularly with mom, jot down what she is eating, drinking and when. Tell them your concerns on the side, and maybe let them handle it. Sometimes it's normal to not eat, as hard as it is to watch. And if she dehydrates from not drinking, they can give her body a drink with the IV fluids.

      I have learned to not ask if he wants to eat first. I will just make the food or milkshakes on a regular schedule and provide snacks, then put it by him and say I'm just putting his food there so he doesn't have to get up if he feels hungry. Lately, he has done very well with eating and drinking on his own, with a good appetite even though he's still losing weight. But it's good to see him eating. Good luck to you and your mom.

      about 4 years ago
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    User: GregP_WN