I have learned a lot about myself since 2012:)) I even found some parts of "me" that had been lost lol...but you're right about knowing someone completely. But I do think we KNOW our family members pretty well. I can usually expect them to act certain ways or feel certain things from talking, listening, etc over the years:)) but God is the only one who really understands everything CUZ he is right there w us never leaving our side in good or rough times!! When I speak of being positive it's because I thought I had dealt w all my issues, I really had intensive counseling for over a year. My therapist released me, I didn't leave her. The positivity I felt was from the understanding of things I discovered, my faith in God, and the positive way in which my life was enriched w friends, family, etc. it was an acceptance of things and instead of bemoaning my fait, I was embracing it n finding the positives to deal with. I of course had conflict n worries regarding bills, etc. normal up n down feelings. So I don't think I was blocking issues. I think what happened to me being off the celexa magnified any fears I had and also played w my psychy n added issues I really don't have! It has been 2 1/2 days of being back on meds n each day I feel better! I do believe I need to seek a therapist again to discuss what happened and any lingering anger I may still have towards my ex, having cancer, family, etc. But I take full responsibility today for having messed myself up!! I should have not gone off my meds, I should not have come on here when I was so manic. But in my defense I truly didn't think I would lose my mind!! Lol and I didn't realize I was so manic when I started posting!! What I did know was something was wrong, it had to be the meds, and I needed YALL to help me think straight enough to realize what I needed to do to fix me:) and for that I thank all of YALL for being so patient n kind to me!! BouseB, you ALWAYS come to my rescue w sage advice n sometimes "tough love"for me, too!! I learn a lot from you and others here too!! Thanks to EVERYBODY!!!! XOXO LYNNE
