• SHarder's Avatar

    SHarder wrote on warriorqueen's wall

    You are so young and beautiful in the picture! I hope things are going OK for you and that you are taking good care of yourself. How did your cancer respond to the chemo? I am so glad that you followed your surgery with radiation. So many woman opt out of that - I guess they are afraid of the treatment - which for me was very hard at the end. How are you doing now? If I was going to battle I would want "warriorqueen" in my army! Take care! SHarder

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    SHarder shared an experience

    Celebration (Remission): I know I should be very happy as since my surgery Oct 2010 my cancer has not returned. I had to have a CT scan of the chest just to verify that I had had a broken rib prior to my diagnosis and the good news is there is nothing brewing!!!!!

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    SHarder shared an experience

    Loss (Relationship ): As soon as I was diagnosed with breast cancer my husband has stopped having sexual relations with me. He says it is not due to the fact I had breast cancer, lost my hair, breasts are gone, significant scaring, weight gain etc. But, he also cannot tell me why it has stopped. Even if I begin to arouse him he loses his erection before we have completed. This makes him unwilling to try anymore. He is very pro my having the reconstructive surgery which makes me feel like he is a very superficial person who does not love ME for me. He was not a very good caregiver during my ordeal and I am very hurt and disappointed by him right now. We are currently selling the house I love and downsizing. I almost feel like I would like to downsize the marriage. I feel Like I am the only one going through this with their spouse and everyone else has a spouse who provides the love and support they need.

    1 Comment
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      I'm sorry for your experience with this part of the journey. It probably doesn't help, but a friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer and her husband asked, "you don't think I'm driving back and forth to the doctor, do you"? I would like to have him switch places with her.

      I hope you work your way through this, no easy answers, maybe some of the Ladies on the site will come through with help for you.

      Best of luck to you, let us know if we can help you here.

      Greg P
      3X Survivor
      Team WhatNext

      about 5 years ago
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    SHarder shared an experience

    Decision Point (reconstructive surgery): It has been proposed that I now have reconstruction surgery which is the deip flap type. I have recently gone to see a plastic surgeon and I need to now loss 20 lbs. and then I can have this surgery that takes 20 hours, then ICU for 3 days with a total hospital stay of 7 days. And then recover from that. I do finally feel up to taking this all on. But .....man!!!!!

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    SHarder shared an experience

    Loss (Body part/function): It really wasn't until I was done with radiation that I began to feel the loss of my breasts. My hair came back and I realized when it did how much it hurt my self image that it was gone. I had cute wigs but I was gaining weight (due largely to being on steroids during my journey) and they are hot etc. etc. I decided to go and apply for jobs in my new career of choice. I was trying to get my life back to some sort of normal whatever that was.

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    SHarder shared an experience

    Radiation (External radiation ): After healing up from the surgery I had my rounds of radiation. Each time you go in it is more and more taxing to you physically and mentally. I was very burned by this procedure but knew if I wanted to beat cancer it was a must. I am back now in PT because of severe scar tissue and mobility issues. Chornic pain in the radiated area is also a problem. I am not able to sleep well due to this situation.