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    shorsegirl24 asked a questionLiver Cancer

    Going through a rough time lately. My father has cirrhosis which turned into liver cancer, which has spread to his lungs and adrenal glands.

    9 answers
    • carm's Avatar
      carm (Best Answer!)

      Shoresgirl24, my name is Carm and I am an oncology/end of life nurse. I see your dilemma and what you desire is no easy task. The end of life conversation can be the hardest conversation if not done right. My patients are all ages from children to adults and all of them diagnosed with less than 2 weeks to live when they are referred to me. It is no easy feat to get a stranger to follow you into that long good night. But, it is doable if you know what to say. I can help you with that dialogue and I will send you my personal email. If you wish to attempt it without that dialogue, the best tool is the "5 Wishes" booklet and you can get one at the aging with dignity website. It is a form of advance directive that is designed to stimulate that type of conversation. I always keep an ample supply. Sometimes it is not easy to get someone to follow you down that path. If you do not embrace the concept of death, it can be a difficult concept to sell. Knowing the right way to have that conversation goes a long way. I hope this helps you and good luck to you, Carm.

      almost 5 years ago
    • shorsegirl24's Avatar
      shorsegirl24

      Thank you all and carm I look forward to reading this book and getting the dialog advice. I have no idea where to start!

      almost 5 years ago
    • jvf's Avatar
      jvf

      I must say your story impressed me and I advise you to focus on finding a solution to making him feel better and understanding that he's afraid of talking about his feelings. You should be gentle with him and not ask directly why he's not talking and not sharing his thoughts. Sick people tend to act different than healthy people, keep that in mind and be understanding with him and most important, find other doctors other solutions to keep him healthy.

      over 4 years ago
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    shorsegirl24 posted an update

    Going through a rough time lately. My father has cirrhosis which turned into liver cancer, which has spread to his lungs and adrenal glands. He has been through a lot the past 3 months, but wants to keep fighting. As soon as he gets discharged from the hospital, he returns a day or two later for some new symptom or issue. They stabilize him, discharge him, and he goes right back in. He refuses to change his level of care. He wants everything that can be done in order to stay alive. He has no quality of life right now. The family is exhausted from running back and forth, and he won't talk to us about his fears, his thoughts on dying. We think he might even think he will get better. I am confused as to what to do, I cannot change the level of care while he is still awake and aware of what is going on. But I am neglecting my family, my job, and my health to be there for him all the time. By all accounts, a man in his condition should not still be alive. But he continues to fight. Help!!

  • shorsegirl24's Avatar

    shorsegirl24 posted an update

    Going through a rough time lately. My father has cirrhosis which turned into liver cancer, which has spread to his lungs and adrenal glands. He has been through a lot the past 3 months, but wants to keep fighting. As soon as he gets discharged from the hospital, he returns a day or two later for some new symptom or issue. They stabilize him, discharge him, and he goes right back in. He refuses to change his level of care. He wants everything that can be done in order to stay alive. He has no quality of life right now. The family is exhausted from running back and forth, and he won't talk to us about his fears, his thoughts on dying. We think he might even think he will get better. I am confused as to what to do, I cannot change the level of care while he is still awake and aware of what is going on. But I am neglecting my family, my job, and my health to be there for him all the time. By all accounts, a man in his condition should not still be alive. But he continues to fight. Help!!

    1 Comment
    • GregP_WN's Avatar
      GregP_WN

      We are sorry for your Dad's condition. I understand where you are. I lost my Mom and Dad both to cancer and they were both stage 4. We took care of them in Hospice care until the end. It's a very tough thing to do, and yes it takes everything out of you. I can't give you any specifics on this, but if you will post this in the questions tab at the top of the page you will get some help from lots of caring people. You posted this as a status update, only those who are following you will see it.

      Try it on the questions page.

      Greg P
      3x survivor
      Team WhatNext
      Community Mgr.

      almost 5 years ago
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    shorsegirl24 shared an experience

    Oh No (Cancer has spread/Metastasized): Running out of treatment options. too many other issues such as white blood count high, sugar way too low, potassium too high, encephalopathy, loss of appetite, weight loss, no urine flow, kidneys failing, rashes, pain.