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    sueglader wrote on Chrissydisp24's wall

    I see you. I know the feeling. I too was in my 30s when diagnosed (33). If you have kids in your life (ages 3-10+), and you need some help there, please let me know.

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    sueglader asked a questionBreast Cancer

    How did you tell your kids you had cancer?

    17 answers
    • LadyM's Avatar
      LadyM

      I have 2 children, 8 years old and 6 years old, my diagnosis was 2 years ago so my oldest was our main concern. I told him the truth, I was sick, my doctors were taking good care of me. We told the school staff so they would be aware of any new behaviors. We also gave warning about the hair loss, the down time after chemo and surgeries. We found that telling the kids the truth left little to the imagination and really opened up good dialogue.

      about 4 years ago
    • codiem's Avatar
      codiem

      My kids were 1 and 3 when I was diagnosed and I was given a very good prognosis, so I decided not to tell them. They were going through enough with their daddy being deployed at the time. Since then, on the days I feel less than great I just tell them mommy doesn't feel good today. Since I had hypothyroidism before my diagnosis, they are used to my "down" days, they are just a little worse for me now... but I don't let them see that. When they are older I will tell them. I want them to know the importance of check-ups and early detection, I just think they are still a bit too young.

      about 4 years ago
    • KimmieC's Avatar
      KimmieC

      I have 6 children, the breakdown at the time was: 16 yr old boy, 14 yr old boy, `14 yr old boy, 13 yr old girl, 7 yr old girl, 4 yr old son. I told them about 3 days before I had to have my first surgery. I called a family meeting, (my husband skipped out on this), and I told them everything I knew about my diagnosis at that time, told them I would answer any question they had as best I could. Whenever I was going to have a big surgery or treatments, I would tell them how I thought it would affect me, and if I needed anything from them (ie, help with younger kids, etc.) I got 6 different reactions, from "I dont want to know anything I dont have to" to "I want to be with you every step of the way" to tears and anger. I also went to the school the first week of school and gave all their teachers a "please let me know if you see acting out" speech. I went through some great books from my cancer center with my youngest son. I let my girls help me pick out a wig, and I let my oldest daughter be completely involved with my care after surgeries. If my sons wanted to see my changed body, I let them. I also let the oldest ones see me at my sickest after the chemo tx. I needed them to know why I wasnt working, why I couldn't cook and clean some days, why they had to do the laundry. Why I couldnt go to their games sometimes. I think that being honest is the best policy, and that most parents have a natural instinct about what each child can deal with and what they can't.

      about 4 years ago
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    sueglader shared an experience

    Celebration (Anniversary): 13 years this october 28th.