• Teachertok's Avatar

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    Teachertok asked a questionStomach Cancer

    My mom's end is near and still no real coping skills

    11 answers
    • CAS1's Avatar
      CAS1

      Its so difficult..Just know that sometimes whatever you do will not be enough because you cannot stop death from occuring. Get the hospice nurses involved, your pastor, her old frineds relatives call on everyone you can for support.

      over 3 years ago
    • BrownCounty's Avatar
      BrownCounty

      You need to do what you think best. You don't need anyone's approval as already has been said. None of us know what your relationship with her. My dad was an alcoholic and somewhat abusive. I am glad I was with him when he passed. He had the most peaceful look on his face. I am greatful I got to see that. It gives me peace. God bless.

      over 3 years ago
    • lilymadeline's Avatar
      lilymadeline

      Sorry I meant to say that your father CAN'T handle this alone in my previous post, I type too fast and I should reread things before posting! But please go back and spend time with your mother because she needs you so much, you won't regret it I am sure about that. I miss my mother so much and I would give anything to even spend an hour with her again. Best wishes!

      over 3 years ago
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    Teachertok asked a questionStomach Cancer

    I am feeling super stressed about my mom's time left

    6 answers
    • SueRae1's Avatar
      SueRae1

      Hugs, what a stressful time. I remember my parents final illness and we all lived in NYC, I can only imagine how much more difficult this must be for you so far away. first and foremost, take a deep breath. Know that you are doing the best that you can. You need to take care of yourself, and your family as well. Find someone you can talk to close to home. See what services you can arrange for mother at home or in hospice care. Try Visiting nurses service or talk with her oncology team/social worker for guidance.

      over 4 years ago
    • Iluvmymomso's Avatar
      Iluvmymomso

      Hugs to you!! Are you their only child? Has your mother decided what SHE wants to do- treatment or no treatment?? please try to remember that not only the patient, but all family members also experience many different emotions when dealing with cancer especially if prognosis is not very good, you have nothing to feel guilty about... You mention you still have children at home but are they old enough to be able to manage without you on a temporary basis if you choose to stay with your parents for a short visit to get things going...are you listed as an Authorized person with your moms Oncologist so you can speak directly to her Dr or Nurse?? If not I strongly suggest it... Whatever treatment options given to your Mom it's her choice to make....may want to consider a Social Worker or Hospice nurse get involved to help educate your parents you and family members of what to expect and can get alot of information from her Oncologist..... Take a deep breath and believe there's help to answer your questions and know its gonna work itself out .... Sometimes people can be stubborn including our parents but we always have options and you don't have to do this alone !!! Praying for all of you!!!

      over 4 years ago
    • gwendolyn's Avatar
      gwendolyn

      I have a lot of sympathy for your situation when you say your parents don't want "strangers" involved yet you seem to be the sole person who is not a stranger. You're in an extremely difficult situation.

      I'm afraid you regard your mother's 6-month prognosis as more specific than it really is. Your mother could die a month from now or she could live a year or more. Knowing this only adds to your stress, I'm sorry, but you do need to realize this is a huge variable you have to live with and so do your parents. Consider dropping temporarily all optional responsibilities you have. Can you take some intermittent FMLA leave off from your job (ie: one week a month?) Are there people available in your life to help with logistics like preparing meals, child care, and such?

      No easy answers, I know. I was in a similar situation at the end of my mother's life so I don't mean to sound as if I'm over-simplifying your problems. You are under a tremendous amount of stress right now and I'm sorry for this.

      over 4 years ago
  • Teachertok's Avatar

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    Teachertok asked a questionStomach Cancer

    Doctor said only 6 months to live

    8 answers
    • CAS1's Avatar
      CAS1

      Teachertok, thank you for sharing this information. I have been on this cancer path for more than 10 years with my family memebers and now me and I had no idea that you would be feeling better "without" a stomach and you could enjoy eating..I am so gald for your Mother.

      Gregs words are som similar to my own with my Mom. Although at 87 she chose to take chemo and she was doing great with it. gained 15 pounds, was getting stronger and then she had a stroke and it took her life.. Not the cancer. But we had wonderful times together and I feel blessed I could take care of her. It was very hard but very rewarding.

      And many many people have outlived the prognosis by 5 times over.

      I live in faith so the transition we will all go through is not the end for me.

      you have been in my thoughts and prayers since reading your story. All the very best to you and your Mom.

      over 4 years ago
    • Iluvmymomso's Avatar
      Iluvmymomso

      Doe your mother have any idea what she wants to do? If possible, a 2nd opinion wouldn't hurt! My mom is also 75 years old, had a partial gastrectomy in August 2012 started chemo in late September and on feeding tube until late October. Has lost a total of 52 pounds since July 2012. Has another PET scan scheduled for April 25th. I have learned many things throughout this journey with my Mom, and the biggest lesson so far has been ATTITUDE. I have yet seen or heard her complain nor feel sorry for herself! On the days when she has plenty of energy she does the things she has always enjoyed and makes the best of each and everyday! Not everyone reacts the same to chemo/radiation either as it is different for all patients. The more information she has about her treatment options, the better informed you will all be. Your mom needs reassurance that whatever choice she makes for herself that her family can support her choice, regardless. I wish her luck and will pray for you all!!!

      over 4 years ago
    • BarbarainBham's Avatar
      BarbarainBham

      I know a lady who was told 30 years ago that she had 6 months to live because of bladder cancer. She had chemo, went into remission, and lived until LAST YEAR, dying at age 90!

      Let us know how your mom is doing now, since its been 6 months.

      almost 4 years ago