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    toughcookie asked a questionBreast Cancer

    Is anyone else having an issue w/family not knowing or understanding how to help with my situation?

    16 answers
    • Julie99's Avatar
      Julie99

      I struggle to ask for help or to reach out to others. My boyfriend is the same way and he likes to think he can do everything on his own to help me, which I know is only going to burn him out. So now when I do ask for help, it is easier for me to accept it because I'm helping him as well.
      Also, I have a blog that friends and family read. I have posted suggestions on things I need and ways others can help out on the blog. This way I'm not directly asking people for help, but those that do want and can help, can use those suggestions and step up. That has been really helpful. Now I have rides for all my chemo treatments (my popsicle posse!), plus cards, texts and messages to let me know people are thinking of me, and scheduled visits on the nights my boyfriend has classes at his gym. Toss in a freezer full of cooked meals too!
      People don't like to overstep sometimes and giving specific ways to help can really be a relief for them, plus you will know you are getting exactly what you want and need in return.
      And remember to set limits where necessary as well, as some others here have mentioned. Put your needs first and draw lines when & where necessary.

      over 4 years ago
    • helliehere's Avatar
      helliehere

      I also have a very hard time asking my family for help. During my treatments I would ask my sister for rides and stayed with her for a short time after the surgeries. At times my house did not look great but I lived with it. I did the best I could. There are some organizations that can help with housework. I was very surprised at my sister because she was always right there for everyone else and would know what to say and offer to help with anything they needed. When I would talk about cancer she would say I was being negative. We were always extremely close so it upset me that I couldn't talk to her about this . I reached out to a cancer support group which really helped. You are not alone. Many people experience this, call it denial or fear of the future.

      over 4 years ago
    • Tania's Avatar
      Tania

      toughcookie:
      Hi I am a breast cancer survior of 4 years. This is hard on everyone and sometimes people do not understand. You need to tell them what you need. I myself do not like to ask for help but sometimes you have too they will understand talk to them. They will come around. Keep me posted Hugs, from Miami, Florida (Tania)

      over 4 years ago
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    toughcookie shared an experience

    Other Care (occupational theropy)

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    Other Care (Hospitalization)

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    toughcookie shared an experience

    Loss (Body part/function)

    1 Comment
    • toughcookie's Avatar
      toughcookie

      still will not look at stiches or what the area actually looks like.

      over 4 years ago