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    UpandUp asked a questionSkin Cancer - Melanoma

    Has anyone lost the support of some of your family/friends after a long road with cancer?

    4 answers
    • mbeshey's Avatar
      mbeshey

      Oh yes I have had this happen and it's still happening. It makes for family gatherings very uneasy too as you know the conversation will come up like, "So you're better now right?" "You should be able to go to work again soon right?" Yes, it's been over 5 yrs since my surgery and recovery but I still am dealing from the ramifications of that surgery internally. Every day is a struggle as if I will have a good pain free day or not. I recently went through a battery of tests as there was thought that my melanoma had reappeared elsewhere. So far so good but I have to stay on top of it 24/7. Basically I have family members who in a not so subtle way, "I deal w/ pain everyday, you'll just need to suck it up buttercup. If I can do it, you can." Not true and don't diminish my cancer pain on your level to make you feel comfortable, on my level it hurts and so do your comments. It's ok to say so too.

      6 months ago
    • BuckeyeShelby's Avatar
      BuckeyeShelby

      My former BFF flat out told me she was done w/me. We'd been friends for over 30 years, since junior high. Funny thing is, part of the reason she was done w/me is that she found God. Even as a non-Christian, that sounds kinda hypocrital to me.

      6 months ago
    • Carool's Avatar
      Carool

      XXXXing disgusting that someone does this when a loved one is in need.

      6 months ago
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    UpandUp asked a questionSkin Cancer - Melanoma

    How often does the thought of recurrence cross your mind?

    15 answers
    • cllinda's Avatar
      cllinda

      In the beginning, after treatments were over, I thought a lot of the chance it would come back. But seven years later, I am too busy with my granddaughters to worry about it.

      10 months ago
    • mom2two's Avatar
      mom2two

      I also am out of treatment but still in a clinical trial for about 31/2 yrs now and it will last for 5. I do think about recurrence every now and then, but really try not to let my mind go there. I try to focus on whats ahead in my life and all I still want to do. :)

      10 months ago
    • IKickedIt's Avatar
      IKickedIt

      I'm more than 7 years out and the thought of a recurrence rarely crosses my mind, so I don't worry about it either. But, it took me quite some time to get to this point.

      I am very vigilant about keeping up with my scans and do whatever the doctor recommends. I did, however, decide to cut my ties with my oncologist. He was the best, but the anxiety leading up to my annual check-up was very upsetting (even more than my colonoscopy, which I actually look forward to). He had told me I didn't have to continue with annual visits after 5 years, so after my 5th year, I decided to stop going. I am fortunate, however, to have had a cancer diagnosis which the doctors feel has been completely resolved and that I am cancer-free.

      I have more survivor's guilt than survivor's worry, but I am also not a worrier by nature.

      10 months ago
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