• VictorbutleAY's Avatar

    VictorbutleAY shared a photo


    Anyone else feel like this is about all that will be done today?

    1 Comment
    • Phoenix76's Avatar

      Yes, many times! Some days, I'm amazed that I'm dressed and standing up! LOL!

      7 days ago
  • VictorbutleAY's Avatar

    VictorbutleAY asked a questionGallbladder Cancer

    Is it normal to have massive mood swings after you start treatments?

    7 answers
    • Gumpus61's Avatar

      Yes................Cancer sucks and that manifests itself in the way you are feeling. I find it perfectly amazing that anyone fighting this insidious disease would say "I have not experienced mood swings bitterness or anger" as if you are less for suffering those things. That would be the exception, not the rule. How that helps you cope I don't know. Don't look to your family or caregivers for the solution either. They are suffering the same way. Get some third party help by seeking referrals from the medical team or searching them out on-line. The greatest ugly secret of cancer is that they treat your body but not your mind.....that you have to take care of your self.

      9 days ago
    • LiveWithCancer's Avatar

      Sorry, Gumpus, for saying i haven't experienced mood swings, bitterness or anger becauseof my cancer. It was a statement of fact, not something to make you or anyone feel bad if you/they have felt those emotions. I think it is wrong of you to accuse me of nefarious intentions.

      I have VERY strong faith. It sustains me. I have never asked why. I don't care why.

      Furthermore, I am very active in the lung cancer community and I know a LOT of people who are not angry or bitter as a result of their diagnosis. Naturally, some are. Most I know have instead focused their energies toward trying to make a difference.

      I don't WANT to be angry or bitter about having cancer... for you to imply that i am not coping because I still smile, laugh, and enjoy life ... with no yelling or screaming or hatefulness ... is rude and uncalled for. I didn't say i was better than anyone who copes differently. In fact, I said everyone is different.

      My family and caregivers have taken their cues from me. And, their own faith. None of us are bitter. Or angry. None of us are suffering mentally. My son initially had issues with anger, etc. after my diagnosis and maybe he continued to do so ... but if that's the case, he hid those emotions when he was around me.

      Please know too that while i have been fighting stage IV lung cancer for 6 years, i have also been my husband's caregiver. He had quadruple bypass several years ago and still requires far more care than i do.

      I do not resent him for his health issues. He does not resent me for mine. I don't think of leaving him; he doesn't think of leaving me. We support one another without anger or bitterness, but with love.

      I wrote an article called Stronger where Broken. It was published after we suddenly and unexpectedly lost our only son. I will admit to telling God that i don't want to be any stronger, to asking Him to please, please, please not break me any more for awhile. (My dogs are old, my mom is elderly, and my husband is feeble ... i am trying to mentally prepare for another break, sooner rather than later. This makes me very sad, but not angry and not bitter.)

      8 days ago
    • Phoenix76's Avatar

      My treatment was completed four years ago. I was not angry or bitter; I was scared; I was anxious; I did seem to be more sensitive overall - crying more and feeling sad, and then swinging to feeling *deep* gratitude for being alive. I've been more fatigued overall, and have had to create solutions to obstacles as I go.

      I prefer to focus on what surviving cancer has taught me:
      1. Accept that one day you will die. Make your time here count; do something significant with your life and your talents.
      2. Be open to finding kindness from unexpected people; be more kind and patient in your dealings with people - you never know what they may be going through.
      3. Be grateful for your blessings.
      4. Think of others more than yourself.
      5. Be generous with whatever you have to give - you can't take it with you (even if you own U-Haul...).
      6. See the good in people, and keep your sense of humor.
      7. There may be a lot that is out of our control, but we can have a great impact on people around us and our world. Reach out to a stranger who you see is having a difficult time, and say words of encouragement over them. You might just be an angel to that person.

      7 days ago
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  • Psm's Avatar

    Psm wrote on VictorbutleAY's wall

    I will keep you and yours in our prayers.
    My husband was diagnosed on 10/1/18
    A little over a month ago also. He is headed
    For 2nd round of chemo tomorrow. Keep your head up and pushing forward .

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    VictorbutleAY started following

    User: GregP_WN

  • DaveWaz's Avatar

    DaveWaz wrote on VictorbutleAY's wall

    Welcome to the WhatNext family! The WhatNext family is made up of people like you who are looking for help or looking to help others. To help you along your journey the WhatNext family has put together a Beginner's Guide to Cancer that I highly recommend you check-out here: http://bit.ly/10BQKCi. Also, please do not hesitate to reach out to others or ask for help.

    Wishing you the best.

    Founder, WhatNexter