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    WhatNextEmails asked a questionCancer

    We received an email from a member talking about the topic of whining about what's bothering us, whether it's a good or bad thing.....

    15 answers
    • Carool's Avatar
      Carool

      @Molly72, Blackflies sound bad. I’ve never been bitten by any.

      20 days ago
    • meyati's Avatar
      meyati

      I've met black flies. My grandmother said they are much worse in Canada

      19 days ago
    • Molly72's Avatar
      Molly72

      Blackflies are all over Canada, and the northern parts of the US.
      We also have Deerflies in the woods, and of course ticks are all over the place, I find them inside, even.
      Spring is the worst time, and of course mosquitoes are Satans's little angels.
      Great subject to whine about, Carool-- pleasant dreams!!!

      19 days ago
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    WhatNextEmails posted an update

    An email recieved from a member that hits the nail on the head about why we are here. Whining about our problems is a topic that come up often. Some are reluctant to complain, but it's actually a good thing to do. Here are some reasons why.

    He says:
    "Embrace the Whine!

    Countless posts in our group include statements like “sorry for whining” or, “I don’t mean to complain”. Somehow we feel bad about voicing our complaints to others and it’s almost as if we were forced to whine against our will. My thoughts are quite clear on whining.........it’s good for us!

    Why,

    Reason Number 1. Our group is a safe place to vent. We are venting to an audience who gets it. I can’t tell you how many times one of our members have been blindsided by hurtful comments from friends or family like “you need to move on”, or, “your treatment is over and it’s time to get back to your regular life”. These “regular” people who can’t see our messed up organs and broken operating systems, or in any way fathom the difficulties of living our everyday lives, seem like aliens to us and we need somewhere we can express our struggles with no fear of being misunderstood or criticized. That’s here! No one here will tell you to get over yourself or “quit whining". We embrace whining for what it is.....and that's reason Number two.

    Reason Number two. It's awesome therapy for what ails us. Whining let's us voice our issues to people who can understand what we are going through and can encourage us and even give us potential solutions to our problems with no judgement attached. In fact, most responders start off a response with something like, "go ahead and whine". This is the place where listening is part of the curriculum and whining is actually encouraged.
    Reason Number three. Whining requires us to think. Before we post most of us stop and think about what is really upsetting us. Posting requires us to focus on the problem and articulate what it is that is actually bothering us. Posting requires us to zero in on the main problem and eliminate the internal noise that constantly bombards us. When we are focused we are much more likely to communicate more effectively and receive feedback that is actually useful.

    Lastly, and my favorite reason of all. When people whine we, as members, are blessed with the opportunity to help, to provide comfort, understanding, and maybe even a possible solution.
    After all, it's why we are here.
    So, embrace the whine. And when you are provided an opportunity, tell someone, "it's going to be ok, I have been there and am here for you. You are not alone anymore."

    No judgement, just compassion and understanding."

    So go the questions page and post what you need to whine about today, it's good therapy for all of us!

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    WhatNextEmails asked a questionBreast Cancer

    Cancer is very scary, we get lots of questions everyday about how to deal with fear over different cancer issues.

    10 answers
    • Horselady46's Avatar
      Horselady46

      My fear is it coming back somewhere else.

      2 months ago
    • ChildOfGod4570's Avatar
      ChildOfGod4570

      For me, it was mostly the fear of the unknown and what it would do to the people around me. Would they only see me as a patient rather than a person? Would I be derided because of hair loss? Would they shy away from me as if cancer was catching? I was so sure that if my family had a dramatic reaction to the news I would lose it, so I asked my mother to tell my sisters and dad about the diagnosis. I had no idea what the treatments would do to me either; I just had a strong feeling they would make me very sick. Naturally, this would be a blow to someone who really works hard to remain healthy. Before cancer, I felt healthy and vital, and hearing about the treatments made me realize I was going to let them do stuff to me that would make me very sick on purpose. What about my quality of life? I didn't care as much about dying as much as I cared about the quality of my life while I was still living on Earth. I know I would go home to Jesus one day, but if I have to remain here for a while before that happens, I would want the "wait" to be as bearable as possible. I would rather live a shorter time with comfort care and a better quality of life than to linger for a long time feeling sick and miserable. I had a friend who originally had ovarian cancer at age 36, and a return of cancer in her bones and brain at age 40. She was told her condition was terminal and that she could live longer than her prognosis if she were to take chemo for the rest of her life. She said she was ready to go home to Jesus and would rather be kept comfortable than languish on chemo. She faced her prognosis with such faith and bravery! I'm sure she had her bad days as we all do, but she set a model that I found admirable when facing such a journey. HUGS and God bless.

      2 months ago
    • legaljen1969's Avatar
      legaljen1969

      I think fear of the unknown was probably my biggest hurdle. I didn't know a timeline. I didn't know what all would be required. I had a close friend who got diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer just after both of our husbands retired from the Marine Corps. We were now an entire country apart. When I got my diagnosis, I turned to her for answers. She told me she would be praying for me and let her know what stage and everything I found out. She told me she didn't want to tell me much of anything about her cancer because it was so much more advanced than mine and she didn't want me to worry too much. She said if I ever got to where she was when she was diagnosed, she would be right there beside me fighting. I appreciated her assessment.
      I was never really afraid of hair loss. I have fine thin hair as it is. I have also had my hair cut really short several times. One of the first people I told was my stylist. We planned for what we would do if I lost my hair. We were going to have a party where she and her business partner were going to shave my head and plan wigs and things for the comeback. I haven't lost my hair, but I know I have good friends when and if I do.
      I think my biggest dread was how it would possibly affect my friends and family. It turns out not so much at all. My family has been pretty supportive. Friends? Ha. That's something I don't even talk about anymore. Anyone I believed was a "friend" dropped off the face of the earth when I uttered the word cancer. Although I have been pleasantly surprised when some people I didn't think gave a rip have at least checked in on me from time to time.
      If anything progresses or develops further, I think my biggest fear is doing this alone. That's been really hard for me. The isolation and alienation.

      2 months ago
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    Today's Blog Post has some information to help you understand what are "Out of Network" charges. Some are from doctors, others are for hospital, treatment facility, or other medical offices. Take a look at our article here>> https://bit.ly/2Sdmkbl and after reading, please hit those share buttons on the post to share with others.