@CarolLHRN: Thanks for the response. You are right, humor is always a good therapy. I once told my dad that I no longer needed him to drive me around because the doctors said I could drive again and he took it the wrong way. It has taken me a few months after chemo to make him understand I no longer need as much help as before.
- Downey, CA
- Member Since Nov 2011
Their Diagnoses (1)
- Survivor: Triple-Negative Breast Cancer, Ductal
- Patient Info: Prefer not to answer/not applicable/unsure, Diagnosed: about 6 years ago, Female, Age: 37, Stage II, HER2 Positive: No, ER Positive: No, PR Positive: No
- View this journey (13 Experiences)
ymeg started followingover 5 years ago
How do you make your beloved ones see you again as a person and not as a cancer patient or survivor?
ymeg - you know, i have another answer now... as i am nearing the end of my treatment plan...
and i think part of it is also how we view ourselves.
do i view myself as lee penn? or do i view myself as somewhat or even completely defined by my diagnosis?
as i face surgery... and a radical change to my body... and the recovery from chemo... i am beginning to feel like lee penn again. as i grow more hair... and regain my fitness... i feel more like lee penn.... and less like cancer patient.
so, i guess what i'm feeling is that i need to take some ownership in viewing my own self as lee penn again.... as opposed to cancer patient. and so, i am rebuilding the bits of my pre-cancer life that i love so dearly - athletic fitness... being able to run my child literally into the ground (i.e., exhaust him)... bad XXX science... teaching... loving my sweetiepie with my entire heart... and more.
those are my current thoughts, and you know what? it is relieving to see myself making this transition.... that i am moving beyond seeing my life dominated by cancer and returning to leepenn-ness.
so.... that makes me wish to ask you - how are you feeling about your own status? how are others behaving around you? do you feel like you are able to head in the right direction?
Dear YMeg, first, how do you view yourself, as a patient or a person who had a disease? You have made it so far and I believe that you really want to just get back to your life. Cancer leaves us as different people than we were before but I believe it is like any other thing in life we encounter. We are not defined by what has happened to us but rather how we meet those challenges head on. It seems to me you met it head on, dealt with it and moved on to the next part of your life. The next time someone asks you how you are with the cancer thing, your reply can be a question to them, "how would you deal with it" and say when you can answer that question then you can ask me more. I have moved on with my life and am feeling great! If you do not want to discuss it with anyone, thank them for their interest but say this is not the time to discuss any thing further. Most people don't know what to ask or when and they feel some fear that this could possibly happen to them. Fear drives some folks to ask really inappropriately timed questions. Look at yourself in the mirror and say "I have moved on, life is good". I pray for your continued recovery and know that there a lot of people walking your path with you and are supporting you. Don't put any thing on hold, just live, Blessings, Trish